


The Point of No Return

by carolelained



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 09:20:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4132206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolelained/pseuds/carolelained
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex comes once more in contact with Agent Fox Mulder, will it work this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Point of No Return

**Author's Note:**

> This is a follow up to Watching and Waiting but can be read as a stand alone story.  
> This has been on my P.C for the last 2 years, I decided to post it rather than just delete it as someone might still read X Files.

The Point of No Return  
By CarolelaineD  
Skinner was pissed off big time, he'd realized that his life as Assistant director was consuming his life and also destroying it at the same time.

What with everything he was meant to deal with in his position, there had been Cancerman and also a certain rat bastard who kept making his life hell. To be honest he also realized that he suffered far worse at the hands of Krycek, no one else in his life had ever caused him that much pain.

Alex Krycek had wormed his way in to the F.B.I just to spy on Mulder, he was a traitor towards his fellow Agents along with his superiors. Krycek had put him under great pressure from his superiors, then he had proceeded to take him to Hell and back.

The rat bastard had changed his life the day he used the Nano technology, changed his life and future for the worse. What scared him more than anything was that little black box, just knowing that Krycek could turn up at any given time and use it.

He was well aware that someone had broken in to Mulder's office a few days ago, he was certain who the figure was that the camera had caught, there was only one man he knew who moved like that. 

Mulder had been through every single file in his office and only one was missing, Mulder had kept a file including a photo of Agent Alex Krycek.

Skinner slammed the brakes on as the light turned red, shit he had been so deep in thought that he had lost concentration, he could not believe his eyes when he looked up, there swaggering along without a care in the world was Krycek.

Skinner scared himself with the rage and sudden deep hatred he felt, he hated the man and wanted him to suffer just as he himself had done. On top of that he wanted to wipe the smile off that smug bastards face, along with retrieving the black box if that was possible.

He would never have any kind of future with Krycek at large and in possession of the box, he would have to be careful as Krycek might not have the box on him, worse still Krycek might use it on him yet again. As long as he lived he never wanted to experience that kind of pain.

Patience would be his best option, he needed to wait and follow the rat bastard back to his lair wherever that might be.

XXXXXXXXXX

Krycek had never felt so free in his sad pathetic life, he knew he still had many enemies in his life, however the main one was out of the picture, hell he had seen to that himself.

He could not take any more lies and shit from the cancerous bastard, shit he had wanted to restart the program all over again. He knew that he had to end it before Spender got the chance, it had been so easy to push the fucker down the stairs and he should have done it years ago.

Krycek also knew the F.B.I had nothing on him and he had the file back, most of his enemies died a long time ago so there were hardly any left, if he watched his back he should be okay.

Fuck it he would get drunk and celebrate his freedom, he couldn’t even remember a time it had been safe to drink, with his past it had never been an option to be obliterated. He soon found a bar and went in knowing he would drink himself stupid, he just needed the release and too feel nothing for a while.

He ordered a double vodka and downed it straight away, after a few more drinks Alex realized he was been watched and he did not like the feeling and some instincts were deep rooted within him.

He wanted no more complications in his life, shit he’d had enough crap to last him a life time without any more trouble, so he decided the safest option would be to ignore the unwanted attention. However as he went to the nearest rest room he knew he was been followed.

Once inside the room he stood behind the door and kept his cool, all he had to do was wait a few seconds.   
Alex had his gun ready but prayed it would not be needed, as soon as the door opened he grabbed the man tight by the throat, Alex then shoved him hard against the wall.

"What the fuck do you want, why are you following me and who sent you?"

He shoved the gun hard in to the man’s stomach and waited for an answer, he would kill the man if he was left with no choice.

"Shit I just thought you might want some company as you were alone, sorry man but I never meant any harm by it."

"Just get the fuck out of here before I blow a hole in your stomach."

Alex could not help laughing as he replaced his gun, shit he realized that he was drunk and also paranoid, he decided maybe it was time to call it a day and go home. He wanted and needed this one night to feel nothing, it was still early so he would go home and drink himself unconscious.

After staggering all the way to the place he called home he felt better, he entered the apartment slamming the door on the whole world, as this was to be his moment alone without any interruptions.

XXXXXXXXXX

Skinner was surprised to see Krycek just walk in to a bar in broad daylight, he also realized he might have a long wait before the man in question came back out. He had to admit it felt strange as he had not done a stakeout in years, and this is what it was as he was going nowhere now.

Two things pissed Skinner off about doing a stakeout, first it was as boring as hell and secondly it gave you way too much time to just think. It was always the past and the things he had done wrong, hell there were many things in life he was not proud of doing.

He was the Assistant director of the F.B.I and had agents who looked up to him, however he was not as innocent as many people believed him to be. That cancerous bastard had seen to that, he had used Skinner on many occasions to obtain what he wanted, hell if that failed he would sent Krycek to beat him in to submitting.

What Krycek had done though just played over and over in his head, how the fuck can you ever forget something like that, he would never forgive Krycek for the pain he had suffered at the man’s hands.  
Skinner realized that he would have to take extreme care around Alex Krycek, also his job would be on the line if he was caught doing this alone. At the end of the day he just wanted to scare the man and make him suffer, also he wanted that black box if possible.

Shit he had trusted his new agent at the beginning, he’d even admired the man’s passion and eagerness for his work, and hell if he were honest he had also admired the man’s looks along with his body. For a lying murdering bastard the man had grace even though he now appeared to walk off balance, he sat there and wondered what had caused the man to walk that way, hell it was as if he had damaged his arm somehow.

  
Skinner sometimes wished he could just go in a bar and get drunk, just a few hours without people making demands of him. Shit he needed to get his mind back on track and think about the here and now, as without that black box he would never have a life at all. Krycek would always show up like a bad penny inflicting more pain, Krycek had made it clear and Skinner would never forget his words.

"The push of a button Walter."

One little button and so much pain, he had wanted to wipe the smirk off that smug bastards face. Skinner had even tried grabbing the box but Krycek had been faster than him, it was as if he knew Skinner would give it a shot.

He realized that Krycek was rather drunk after leaving the bar and could not walk straight, hell this might just be far easier than he’d expected. He followed Krycek for almost an hour before he disappeared in to an apartment block.

Skinner decided to leave it a while then he would go in, after yet another boring wait it was time for him to move. He checked that he had his gun loaded along with his badge and cuffs, at least this way he would have credentials if anyone stopped him.

It was time to go in search of the man that had become his worst nightmare over the years, also in search of that little black box.

XXXXXXXXXX

Krycek put the stereo on low just for some background noise, he then went to find the bottle of vodka he'd had for a long time. He wanted to just drink and then drink some more, hell all he wanted was to block everything out for just one night.

It hurt so much to think of his past and what he had done to others along the way, also what he himself has become over the years. However he could not change the past and what he had done now, he drank until he could hardly stand up and decided bed might be a better place.

Once in the bedroom he undressed and downed the last of the vodka, he then lay down and relaxed once he'd checked his gun was in place.

Alex fell in to a deep sleep and became unaware of anything, well that was until he heard the familiar click of the hand cuffs.

XXXXXXXXXX

Skinner could not believe how easy it had been to get in, shit as soon as he had flashed his badge he had what he needed, the maintenance man had soon told him the floor and apartment number of the man in the leather jacket.

He could not believe how lax Krycek was on security, well it was either that or the man was too drunk to care. It had taken Skinner less than a minute to pick the lock and enter the apartment, upon opening the door he was greeted to music turned very low, there was no other sound to be heard.

Skinner kept his gun tight in his hand in case he'd been heard, however he could not believe his luck when he found Krycek fast asleep tangled in a sheet.

He stood there staring at the sleeping man, how innocent the man looked when he wasn't spouting a load of crap. Fuck it was then that he suddenly noticed the man’s arm, or should he say the lack of it.

However he knew he had to look beyond that as Krycek was far from innocent, he reached over and flicked the cuffs on Krycek before he even had a chance to wake up.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alex woke to the sound of the clicking and the feel of a large hand around his throat, he tried to move however the grip was far too tight and he was too drunk. He looked up into the face of Skinner.

Walter Skinner Assistant director of the F.B.I also had a very dark side, especially when he was pissed off and wanted answers. The man applied more pressure to the soft tender flesh beneath his hand, he found it hard to resist the temptation to squeeze even harder, and he would be so easy to do it until the bastard was dead.

"Come on Krycek sober the fuck up, I want answers before I leave here."

Fuck Krycek could hardly breathe let alone talk, Skinner realized and released the pressure with regret.

"I don't know what you want Skinner as I'm finished with all that, even the consortium has gone?"

"You have the nerve to ask what the fuck I want, I want that black box and if I were honest you dead would be a good start. Hell I should just shoot you were you lay, one bullet straight in your head for what you have done to me and everyone else."

"I don't have it anymore, do what the fuck you want as I don't give a shit."

"Don't you fuckin dare lie to me boy?"

Krycek felt the pressure get even worse against his throat, he honestly thought Skinner planned to end it here and now, not that his life was worth much anyway.

"I swear it was disarmed and is useless now."

Skinner struggled to keep his cool with the man he despised, the man was responsible for so much pain.

"Why the hell should I believe you, shit Krycek you're not exactly known for your honesty?"

"I don't give a fuck Skinner what you believe, you think you're so fuckin pure and straight what a joke, well I know different so do your worse you sad fuck."

Alex wished he had kept his big mouth shut, fuck he could not breathe as Skinner applied more pressure to his throat. He then smacked Krycek knocking him out cold, he then walked calmly to the bathroom.

Krycek came around with one hell of a headache, his head was pounding and his jaw ached like fuck.

"Nice to see you finally awake Krycek."

"Great you're still here, shit don't you have a home to go to?"

Krycek knew his mouth could dig his own grave, however he seemed unable to keep it shut at the best of times.

"Just get the fuck out of here and leave me alone, you're not welcome here now or ever Skinner."

"All in good time as I'm not finished with you yet boy, you're going to learn where your place is."

"Where the fuck do you get off calling me boy all the time, Fuck you I’m a grown man."

"That's good to know, you can take your punishment like a man then."

With that Skinner undid the cuffs and grabbed him hard, before Krycek had a chance to fight back he was dragged in to the bathroom.

Skinner shoved him head first towards the bath, he then proceeded to hold Krycek head under the water as the man fought for his life.

Krycek started to panic as his head was kept under the water, fuck he had forgotten just how strong Skinner was. He felt like he was going to die here and now, then suddenly he could breathe again and not stop coughing.

Skinner then punched the defenceless man hard and shoved him to the floor, he stood over the man and watched as he struggled to breathe, he knew that if he stayed any longer he would kill Alex Krycek before the night was over. Skinner realized that he would never find the box if he killed the man.

"Fuck you Krycek, shit I won't lower myself to your standards."

"You self-righteous prick, at the end of the day Skinner you're no better than I am."

Skinner kicked Krycek hard in the side before walking out, he knew that what he had just done was wrong and he could lose his job. All Skinner wanted was to go home and get drunk, he wanted to forget Krycek and get on with the rest of his life.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alex pulled himself up from the bathroom floor with difficulty, shit Skinner must have broken a couple of ribs along with the other damage, and he managed to drag himself on to the bed and collapsed hungover and in great pain.

After a few hours’ sleep he made his way to the kitchen for some meds, he only just managed to swallow the water because of his throat so eating was out of the question.

Krycek needed to get back to bed and recover as he had plans to make and revenge to get, did Skinner really think he could just walk away now after what he had done.

xxxxxxxxxx

Skinner arrived back home and tried to forget his time with Krycek, however the man in question was going to make sure he never forgot.

When he arrived at work he had a parcel waiting for him on his desk, inside he found a small black box and knew just who it was from. Skinners hopes were soon dashed when he realized it was a dummy box, well it was not like Krycek would just hand over the real thing that was when he saw the note.

Skinner  
Ha did you really think that I would send the real thing, this is just a reminder of what I can do at the push of a button. How's it feel Walter, anytime anywhere you won't see me coming?  
Payback's a bitch and after what you did to me I intend to have some fun, you broke two of my fuckin ribs and tried to drown me, you should have killed me while you had the chance.  
Now it's my turn Walter, watch your back as I guarantee I will be coming for revenge.  
Krycek

xxxxxxxxxx  
Krycek spent the next few weeks just resting and waiting for his ribs to heal, he wanted to be a hundred percent well to carry out his plans as Skinner was going to pay for what he had done, Krycek would never forget the feeling as his head was held beneath the water, he would be having nightmares yet again after what Walter did.

He had spent many years having nightmares now he was having them about drowning, ha along with the black oil in the silo and aliens, there were also nightmares of him having his fuckin arm hacked off.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Skinner was having yet another bad day, just to top it off Mulder had disappeared yet again. It annoyed him as he was left having to answer to the higher ups. He respected his agents, however Mulder was a royal pain in the ass, Skinner decided it was time to go home as he needed to clear his head.

Shit he had suddenly wished that he could be a pain in Mulders ass, he realized that he really should stop fantasying about his agents as it was not a good idea. It was just that he had spent so long alone, it never helped when the last person he had sex with wound up dead in bed with him.

He needed to get out more and have a life, not that it would ever happen in his line of work as all he did was work, he was either in the office or taking work home with him, tonight was no exception.

His head hurt and he needed a hot bath along with a strong drink, he would leave it until morning to find his wayward agent. Skinner took the shortest way possible home and then the lift to the seventeenth floor, shit he was getting to old for this.

He opened his door and then turned to close it, that was when he felt the sharp pain in his neck and he fell to the floor, it was also then that he saw Alex Krycek looming over him.

  
Skinner also noticed that Krycek was holding a Taser gun in his hand, at least he now knew what had caused the pain.  
"Welcome home Walter are you pleased to see me, well I did warn you revenge would be a bitch."

Skinner looked up at Krycek and struggled to speak.

"You fuckin bastard."

"What's up Walter did you think I'd forgot about you and what you did to me, you fuckin tried to drown me you bastard."

Krycek reached in to his pocket and pulled out a syringe and a bottle of clear liquid, the man filled the syringe and emptied the contents in to the other man’s arm.

"What the fuck have you done Krycek?"

"Don't worry Walter its only ketamine, I can't have you attacking me again can I.”

Krycek dragged the man in to the sitting room and managed to get him on the couch.

"I thought long and hard Walter about revenge and what I could do to you, the hardest part was thinking what would hurt you the most."

Alex removed the knife from his pocket, he cut away at Skinners clothes until they were all removed, been one handed had meant it would be hard to remove them any other way.

"What a pretty picture you will make Walter, you see I decided the best way to get revenge was to humiliate you."

Skinner lay there and watched Krycek as he opened a large black hold all, he then pulled out a video camera along with a whip and many other toys. At that moment Walter Skinner realized his career was over for good.  
There was no way he would ever live it down, the macho Assistant director of the F.B.I what a joke that was.

Krycek took great pleasure as he fastened the collar around Skinners neck, he then proceeded to pull it tight.

"You fucked with the wrong person Walter when you fucked with me, I will destroy you and take away everything you have."

Krycek had been gay all his life so molesting Skinner was an added bonus, he stroked the man’s semi erect cock until he made him rock hard, Krycek soon slipped the cock ring in to place.

"Can't have you coming yet Walter, well at least until we start making the movie."

Krycek removed all of his own clothes ready to make it look more realistic, he then went on to cover his face with a leather mask. As soon as the camera was on he started posing Skinner so he appeared to be jerking off for the camera.

Krycek reached forwards to grab the whip, he wanted to make it look like Skinner was kinky and into bondage, the great Walter Skinner was going to be portrayed as someone’s sex slave. As Krycek grabbed the whip he felt a rough hand grab his hair then pain as his head was smacked against the wall.

"So you thought you could mess with me did you boy, shame you never gave me enough drugs to keep me down."

"Oh God please........... Shit Skinner I wouldn't have used it."

"Once a liar always a liar boy."

"Please just let me go, I swear I will go and you won't see me again."

"Too late Krycek as now your tight ass is mine, you think you can swan in and out of people’s lives without consequences, well not anymore."

Shit Krycek started to panic as Skinner threw him against the table and then removed the cock ring. Alex screamed with pain as Skinner tried to enter him, however the other man got off on the sounds Alex made and plunged deep within his ass.

Krycek couldn’t stop crying as skinner entered him dry as the pain was unbearable.

"Don't play games you can't win boy, you will regret the day you ever crossed me."

He worked faster and faster until his hot come shot in to Krycek, God how good it felt to have the rat bastard under him. He also knew there was no way he had finished with Krycek, he planned to have lots of fun with him and teach him a lesson.

"Take it like the man you claim to be Alex, stop crying like a bloody baby."

"Fuck you Skinner."

"Ha in your dreams Alex as that will never happen."

Skinner grabbed the handcuffs and cuffed Alex to the table leg, he then grabbed the leather jacket from floor.

"Look what we have here Alex, don't worry two can play your games and I intend to win, I will make sure I inject enough of the ketamine to keep you down boy."

"Please Skinner, you're better than me, just let me go and I will disappear."

"Its way too late for that now Alex, all I plan to do is finish what you started."

Alex started to panic and breath heavy as Skinner filled the syringe, shit it was like having the alien inside him again, he hated not being in control of his own body. He heard the cuffs as they were removed, shit then Skinner picked him up and took him to the bedroom and lay him on the large bed.

Walter Skinner left the room to dispose of the camera and other items, he wanted no come back on him for anything, he also realized that he felt no guilt whatsoever keeping Alex prisoner.

Skinner truly believed that Alex Krycek deserved everything he got in life and more. Alex lay there unable to do anything, Skinner threw the leather jacket along with the rest of Alex's clothes on the floor.

"Don't worry Alex, you're not going to be needing them for some time as you're going nowhere."

Alex could not believe this was happening to him and his plan had back fired, he had thought it would be so easy to destroy the other man. Alex also seriously doubted he would leave here alive after what he'd done.

Skinner decided to leave Alex to sweat, he went and poured himself a large strong drink. It finally hit him how close the man had come to destroying him, now here he was destroying himself by raping a man, however he knew Alex would never go to the police and admit it.

Krycek fell in to a troubled sleep, he woke to find Skinner injecting more ketamine into him.  
"Don't want you escaping do I Alex, and I really don't want to use the cuffs and mark you.

"Please Walter just let me go."

"What's the matter Alex are you scared of what I might do to you, hell only you could be drugged and still use that lying mouth of yours."

"Why keep me here."

"You will see, but believe me boy I intend to be your worst nightmare."

Over the course of the next few days his life was made hell, he spent all the time on the bed being raped and abused, Skinner only moved him to bath and clean him up. Alex was becoming far weaker and severely depressed, it got to the point that all he wanted was to die.

Walter had just filled the bath and went to get his house guest, the man was starting to make the bedroom smell somewhat. He lowered Alex in to the warm soapy water and started to wash the unresponsive man.

"You're a cute kid Alex and could have gone far, however you had to betray your partner and the F.B.I. You destroyed Mulder with your betrayal and lies, he was starting to like you which takes a lot for Mulder as he trusts very few people."

"I had to do it, you don't know anything Skinner."

"Why do I not believe you?"

"I don't give a fuck what you believe anymore, it's all too late now anyway."  
Skinner started to feel slightly guilty about what he had done to Alex, however Alex was the one who had pushed and pushed him to do this. Shit the man had been such a cock tease and he could not resist a body like that, he felt his cock start to harden as he looked down at the man in the bath.

Alex noticed the look on Skinners face change, the man had a predatory look and Alex feared the worst. Before he had any more time to think Skinner grabbed his hair, soon he was under the water yet again but this time he was unable to fight back because of the drugs.

Finally Skinner pulled him out and threw him on the bathroom floor, he was then upon the man in seconds and abusing him, Alex prayed that due to lack of food and drink death would come soon. Suddenly he felt the pain as Skinner raped him yet again, the man did not care how much he hurt Alex as he plunged in to him as deep as he could go.

Finally Skinner found release and moved off the body below him, all of a sudden a deep anger flooded Skinner when he looked at Alex.

The man looked so weak and vulnerable as he lay there on the floor, however all Skinner remembered was the beating in the stairwell. Also Skinner remembered the worst pain ever, the black box and how this man had took him to death and back.

Skinner took his fist and smashed it in to the body beneath him, he was unable to stop himself until all the strength and anger had drained from him. Krycek lay there knowing it was the end and he would die, the blows kept raining down on him and the pain was unbearable until he finally blacked out.  
Skinner grabbed the battered body and returned Alex back to the bedroom, he then gave the unconscious man one more injection. Skinner realized that he had used the last of the ketamine, not that it mattered as Alex was far too weak to put up a fight with or without the drugs.

Skinner felt no remorse for his actions, as far as he was concerned Alex deserved everything he had dished upon him.  
Skinner went for a long hot shower and tried to think about what he should do with the man, he could not carry on like this and it was time to finally end it.

He went to look in on Alex later and saw all the bruises that were starting to appear and all the blood, he knew that he must have broken some of the man’s bones.

He shut the bedroom door and walked away to get a drink, he would deal with the problem of Alex Krycek later on.

  
When morning came Skinner cleaned the man up and saw exactly what he had done, Krycek was no longer drugged but remained unconscious throughout the ordeal. Finally he finished his tasks and went to get ready for work, he never wanted anyone to know what he was up to or what he had done.

Skinner then remembered that Mulder had been absent all day yesterday, great his migraine started as he drove towards the Hoover building.

  
Krycek wanted to scream as the pain increased, it was then that he realized the drug was wearing off as he could now flex his fingers. After a while he tried to move out of the bed and stand up, however he was far too weak and the pain was unbearable and he collapsed back on the dreaded bed.

His ribs had just healed from the last beating, however Alex knew at least one of his ribs was broke along with a couple of fingers. After a couple of hours rest Alex knew it was now or never, he had to dress and try to escape before Skinner returned.

He managed to stand up and retrieve his clothes he then saw his reflection in the mirror, shit he was a patchwork of cuts and bruises. He had one eye that would hardly even open and a split lip, hell he now looked thin and gaunt in just a week without much food.

It was to take him over an hour to get fully dressed as he had to stop so many times, as he put on his jacket he realized the gun had gone. He searched the house and finally found it under the sink in the kitchen, however he knew it was far too late to try and escape now as Skinner would be home soon. 

Alex lay on the bed fully dressed and ready to go, he pulled the covers over his body to conceal his clothes, also to conceal the loaded gun in his hand.

Skinners day was going from bad to worse, Mulder was still a no show and nobody has seen the wayward agent. Skinner knew that he would take the blame once again for Agent Mulders behaviour, by rights he should have sacked the man years ago.

He decided it was enough for one day and time to go home, he had a problem of his own to now go take care of.  
Skinner had run numerous scenarios in his head of how to get rid of Alex Krycek, he could always just shoot him and bury the body somewhere, it's not like the man would be missed by anyone.

He was doing way too much thinking, a few stiff drinks and then he would deal with it, just a few hours and all his problems would be over with once and for all.

He went in to his apartment removing his gun and jacket, he managed to down only a couple of drinks when the knock came, shit so much for his plans for the evening. He looked through the peephole and threw the door open.

"Where the fuck have you been Agent Mulder, hell I've had everyone harassing me because of your disappearing act."

"Nice to see you too Sir, they only miss me as it leaves them with no one to blame for stuff."

"Whatever, I want answers Agent Mulder and I want them now."

"Can I come in then Sir?"

Shit Skinner prayed that Krycek would remain silent for now, he then let the wayward Agent in to his apartment.

"Can I just use your bathroom first Sir?"

"You know where it is Agent Mulder, I was going to make a coffee if you want one?"

"Yeah that would be great, thanks Sir."

"Okay I will be in the kitchen when you're ready."

Krycek had stayed in the bed waiting for Skinner to come to him, however he had heard the knock and recognized Mulders voice a mile off.

He eased himself up off the bed and went to the door, he opened it slightly to see his favourite G man enter the bathroom, well it was move now or die at the hands of Skinner.

Mulder stood there humming to himself as life was looking good at the moment, he had just fastened his pants up when he felt the gun in his back.

"Don't move Mulder or I will blow your fucking head off."

"Krycek."

"What's the matter Mulder surprised to see me?"

"Ha a bad penny always turns back up, and they don't get worse than you, you lying fuckin murdering bastard."

"Shut the fuck up and turn around slowly, hell it's always the same song and dance with you."

Mulder slowly turned however he could not hide the look of shock, he had never in his life seen Krycek look that bad.

"Shit Krycek what the hell happened to you, if you want or need help go to a hospital or ask Skinner as I don't live here."

"It was your so righteous fuckin boss that did this to me."

"You will have deserved it you lying rat bastard."

"Yeah right Mulder, hell I deserved to be beat up have bones broken and be drowned, oh and let's not forget the many times he raped me."

"Skinner wouldn’t do that."

"Let's go ask him Mulder, see if the lying filthy bastard can lie to your face shall we."  
Krycek walked behind Mulder with his gun pointed at the Agent and went to the kitchen, he would kill them both if it were his only way of escaping.

Skinner went as white as a ghost when he saw both men enter the room together, Krycek then made sure Skinner could see the gun, he knew that with Krycek state of mind he was very capable of using the gun on either of them.

"Hi Walter you don't look to pleased to see me, well Agent Mulder here would like a few answers and to know who did this to me."

"I can explain Agent Mulder, hell what about what you did to me Krycek?"

"You deserved it Skinner, you could have just asked for the black box and maybe I would have given it to you."

"You're one sick man Krycek, you take someone to death and back and want them to be nice to you."

"Me sick, take a long good look in the mirror before you insult me Skinner.”

"If you want my opinion, hell you both sound as bad as each other."

Mulder as usual had to have his opinion heard.

"Fuck you Mulder and your opinions, I am leaving here and you're coming with me, that way I can make sure Walter dearest doesn't try shooting me in the back."

"Fine whatever, I will be in touch Sir when Krycek here lets me go."

"You can fuck off Mulder as soon as I am safe, I only need you to get out of here."

Krycek started to feel light headed and needed to move, hell otherwise he would pass out and never escape, he led Mulder over towards the apartment door.

"Close the door behind us Mulder, you try anything or call anyone Skinner and his death will be on your conscience."

Mulder saw Skinner reach for his gun and he shook his head, he knew Skinner was worried for his safety but doubted Krycek would kill him. However Mulder realized it was too late as Krycek also saw Skinner reach for his weapon, Krycek lifted his gun and shot the man once in the arm.

"That was just a warning shot Skinner, piss me off again and you're a dead man."

Skinner stood there holding his arm in pain, all he could do was stand and watch as the door slammed shut behind the two men. He knew he couldn't call for help as Mulder would be dead, all he could do now was pray his Agent would survive this and be okay.

Skinner grabbed his jacket and car keys, he knew a man who would remove the bullet without questions.  
Once they were in the lift Krycek spoke to the Agent, he spoke in a low threatening manner.

"Cuff yourself Mulder and behave yourself, if you're a good boy you might get out of this alive."

"Yeah right, you're not fit to drive anywhere Krycek."

"Shut the fuck up Mulder as I never asked for your opinion."

"Statistics Alex, I am sure you remember quoting them to me some time ago."

"Fine whatever you drive then but no funny business Mulder, and keep the past to yourself as I don't want reminding."

"Okay as long as you calm down a bit, shit at this rate you will end up shooting me anyway."

They left the lift and went to Mulders car, Mulder got in to the driver’s seat while Krycek got in the passenger side, the man was not too happy about the arrangement however he felt light headed once more.

"You want me to calm down, shit that fuckin bastard held me prisoner for over a week. The bastard went on to drug me and rape me, so fuck you Mulder if I'm not calm enough for you."

"I am sorry Alex but you will need to keep calm and tell me where the hell I am going, hell I am not a fucking mind reader you know."

"I will tell you as you drive."  
"Yeah okay, you will need to get some sort of help Alex to get over this."

"Don't you dare profile me Mulder or pretend to understand me, go fuck with someone else’s head."

"We had something once Alex so don't make out I know nothing at all."

"Yeah and what a mistake that had been, just shut the fuck up Mulder and drive until I tell you to stop."

Apart from Alex giving directions the journey was completed in silence, both men had been lost in their own thoughts. They finally came to a stop outside a small cottage in the middle of nowhere, the nearest village had been a few miles back.

"Shit where the hell are we, is this yours Alex?” 

"Yeah so don't be going and telling your boss Mulder or anyone else, I worked hard to get along here and have a reputation."

"What do you mean a reputation?"

"Everyone in a small village knows everyone else, so a stranger stands out like a sore thumb."

"So how did you manage to fit in then Alex?"

"They all think that I'm some writer who wants peace so they leave me alone, come on let’s get inside."

"Alex you need medical help and I can't give you that."

"All I ask is that you help me bandage my ribs and hand then you can leave, you send anyone here Mulder and I won't hesitate to kill them."

"I swear that I won't tell anyone, God Alex you meant so much to me."

"Shut the fuck up Mulder it's the past, hell I moved on and got over you."

"You bastard, I know you got over it and moved on, shit I can't just forget the day you walked out of my life. Alex was gone and was replaced by Krycek, cold blooded killer, liar and traitor. I hate you for what you did to me Alex."

"I had my reasons Mulder and you would never understand."

"Hell maybe you could share your reasons with me and let me decide?"

"Forget it."

They went inside and Mulder found the bandages and painkillers, he then went to get a glass of water. Meanwhile Krycek was trying his damn hardest to get his top off, fuck he was starting to get really pissed off. He had one hand that was broken along with his broken ribs, and just to top it off he only had one arm. Mulder walked in the room to see Alex not too far from breaking point.

"Alex sit down and let me help you, you might feel better once we bandage it and you have some meds."

"Get the fuck out now Mulder. I don't need you or anyone so just fuck off and go."

"Please Alex don't do this to yourself, God you need some help in your condition, you don't even have the use of your hand and you only have one arm."

"Jesus state the obvious why not, Alex Krycek murderer liar and a fuckin cripple."

"This is not you Alex as you're far stronger than this."

"Yeah right, I'm a fuckin’ cripple big time. Look at me Mulder, hell I can't even take a piss on my own."

"I will stay and help you Alex'"

"You're not coming anywhere near me, I told you to just fuck off and go home."

"There's no way I am leaving you alone like this Alex."

"Fine whatever, but don't you dare think we’re going to be playing happy families."

"For one you made it very clear the day you left that you no longer wanted me as a lover, secondly I don't even truly know what a happy family is."

"Fuck you Mulder I never deserved you at all, I lied and it was wrong to stay with you."

"Let's just forget it for now Alex, take your meds and I will bandage you up."

Mulder bandaged Krycek ribs and hand the best he could, he then gave him a pillow and blanket.

"Get some rest Alex, to be honest I don't think your fingers are broken just swollen."

"Why are they still swollen then?"

"Alex you had the shit beat out of you, most men would not even be walking after what you suffered."

"Yeah right, they better go down soon as this sucks."

"Have you thought Alex, hell they might go down faster without the gun in your hand?"

"You bastard, get on Alex's good side so I will just hand you the gun, you would just attack me or phone your boss."

"Why? I never did stop loving you Alex."

"You're a fuckin head doer Mulder, you just thought it was love because you had no one else."

"I know how I feel about you Alex."

"Mulder go and do something while I sleep, better still just be gone when I wake up."

Mulder went in to the kitchen and left Alex alone to rest, if he was to be honest he also needed some space. A couple of coffee's later and a lot of thinking Mulder moved, he decided that it might be a good idea to go and check on the patient.

Alex appeared to be in a deep troubled sleep, Mulder also decided now would be a good time to take the gun away from Alex. He went back to sit and watch the sleeping man once he'd secured the weapon, Mulder put the gun in his car and hid the keys, better safe than sorry.

As he sat there he realized just how much he still loved Alex, he wondered what had gone wrong in the man’s life to make him this way, hell once they had been lovers and things were perfect, however he realized that it had all been lies so who was he trying to kid.

Alex had lied to him, however he himself had lied to Alex and told him they were lovers. They had been so happy together and he had a good life that was until the day Alex just up and walked out, to make it worse Alex had returned to Spender.

Just maybe it had all been a set up by that cancerous bastard to fuck his head up, it had hurt so much when Alex left, hell over two years later and it still hurt so much especially when he had seen what Skinner had done. He was suddenly brought out of his day dream when he heard Alex shouting.

"Where the fucks my gun Mulder?"

"It's safe, I swear Alex that I won't hurt you."

"No but I might just fucking hurt you."

"You already did that Alex the day you left me."

Alex fell in to a deep silence, no matter how hard Mulder tried he was just ignored. A whole week went by and Alex never spoke, he refused all of the help and food that he was offered. Alex had struggled so hard to shower and find food for himself.

Alex was wishing that Mulder would just leave and go home, he had thought that after the weeks silence the man would have got fed up, ha he should have known as after all Mulder was a stubborn bastard.

He had managed the whole week alone and it had paid off, at least the swelling had gone down and he could move far easier without suffering the pain. However he was pissed off this close to Mulder without been able to touch the man, shit he was becoming so depressed and even felt suicidal at times.

Alex blamed Mulder, hell he would be okay if the Agent just fucked off and left him alone. Talking of Mulder he wondered what the man was up to and doing all the time he was here.

The bathroom door was closed and the shower was running, so Mulder was just carrying on like everything was a bed of roses, fuck he would show the bastard who's in charge. He walked in to the bedroom and stripped out of his clothes, he then found Mulders cuffs and waited.

Mulder finished his shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, he then left the warm bathroom. He was taken by surprise and never had a chance to fight back against the other man, Alex had charged at him like a wild animal.

Mulder was shoved face down on the bed and cuffed to the headboard, shit he then felt the towel as it was pulled away revealing his naked body.

"Alex please, shit what the fuck are you doing?"

"Just giving you what you want Fox, you was the one who wanted this and that's all you hung around for."

"Alex no please not like this, shit its rape, for fucks sake no don't."

Mulder realized that he was babbling on and didn't care anymore, fuck the pain as the other man just entered him dry.

"Alex please don't do this to me, shit I love you Alex."

"Shut the fuck up."

"God don't Alex."

"You wanted this Fox just remember that."

Alex worked up a rhythm and came within minutes, shit he had gone so long without anyone and he wanted Mulder to suffer like he had. 

"I fuckin hate you Mulder it's all your fault, shit everything’s your fault.”

He reached forward and bit down as hard as he could on Mulders vulnerable neck, the man below him thrashed around trying to get Alex off him as it hurt so much.

Alex looked down and saw the blood on Mulders pale body, he also realized there was blood between his ass cheeks. It was then that he realized that the man below him was sobbing and his body was trembling, fuck he had just abused and raped the man he deeply loved.

He got up from the bed and retrieved the key for the handcuffs, he tossed it on the bed within Mulders reach and fled the room.  
Mulder tried to sit up and unfasten the cuffs but he was in so much pain, maybe he had been wrong about Alex and the other man really did hate him.

What a fucking idiot he had been falling in love with Alex in the first place and making a life together. He dragged himself towards the bathroom to clean up, shit he also had to find something to cover the wound on his neck.

Alex went in to his own room after his trip to the basement, he had returned with two bottles of vodka and a small box of tablets to deal with his feelings. The depression was taking over and he had to end it all, there was no way he could live with what he'd just done.

A few hours later Mulder woke from a troubled sleep, he had not realized that he was that tired, obviously everything over time had got on top of him. He went to the bedroom door and listened trying to determine where Alex was, he was only met with silence.

Mulder crept ever so quietly towards the other mans room, he slowly opened the closed door and peered inside, there on the bed was Alex fast asleep. Shit he had been abused and raped by that man yet all he felt for him was love.

It was then that he noticed the empty vodka bottles and realized Alex must be drunk, shit then he also noticed the empty box of pills. Fuck what the hell was he meant to do now, if he called an ambulance Alex would be dead, or Skinner would have him locked up.

Mulder dragged the man off the bed and threw him in a chair, he then went to get some salt water and some black coffee. Upon his return Alex was still out cold, Mulder tipped the man’s head back and poured some of the water in his mouth. Within minutes Alex was coughing and spluttering, then he was violently sick all over himself and the floor. 

  
This pleased Mulder as he needed the pills out of his system as fast as possible, he also needed Alex to sober up somewhat. He went to get some warm water to clean Alex up, finally after throwing up four times he fell asleep exhausted.

Mulder removed most of Alex's clothes and cleaned the man up, he managed to lay him back down on the bed, he then sorted himself out and lay down beside the sleeping man and held him tight, and he realized that it felt like old times as he watched over the other man.

Things were to change however once Alex woke and found himself in bed with Mulder, fuck suddenly he could not breathe and had to move, he jumped up off the bed yelling at Mulder.

"What the fuck are you doing Mulder, fuck you could have just left me to die?"

"Alex I love you, shit do you really think I could just sit there and watch you die?"

"You sad pathetic fuck, I fuckin raped you and abused you so how the fuck can you say you love me?"

"Please Alex we can sort this out if we try."

"There's nothing to sort out Mulder, can't you get it in to your thick fuckin head, there is no me and you?"

"I know you love me Alex."

"You think you know everything Mulder well you're wrong, guess what I fucking despise you and want you out of my life once and all."

Mulder jumped up off the bed and was pissed big time, he flew at Alex and pinned him against the wall. Fuck Alex realized that he had pushed Mulder too far, he could feel his lungs burning and struggled to breathe, fuck then Mulder pressed his arm even harder on the tender throat.

"Is this what you want Alex, is this what turns you hard and gets you off."

Mulder back handed Alex hard across the face and watched as Alex slid to the floor, shit he couldn’t take any more of this crap as he was being torn in two.

"You're the one who's pathetic Alex, hell you can't even deal with anything and just throw it all away, well fuck you if that's what you want as I 'm leaving."

"I never wanted it to be this way, God please forgive me Fox."

"Fuck you Alex, if you don't want it this way be a man and change it."

"It's too late, you're worth better than me anyway."

"Why Alex?"

"Why what?”

"When you left me why did you return to Spender, you could have gone anywhere or done anything?"

"You would never understand Fox."

"Try me you never know."

"Forget it Fox."

"Fine Alex have it your way, I will be leaving first thing in the morning."

Alex remained silent on the bathroom floor as Fox walked away, he had his reasons and no choice in what he did, Alex lay on the bed and finally cried himself to sleep.

Mulder got a hot shower and decided to get some rest, he knew he had to leave and that it was a long drive home, he had to also finally admit defeat. He awoke a few hours later to loud screaming coming from Alex's room, he decided to go see if the man was okay.

Alex was on the bed in a very troubled sleep, he appeared to be having an extremely bad nightmare and Mulder wanted to help him, he lay beside him and held the troubled man until he fell in to a peaceful sleep.

He knew he was taking a chance staying in the bed, however he knew he would put Alex's safety before his own every time.

"Fox hold me tight please, I need to know you're there and want to feel you."

Mulder had no idea what had come over Alex, however he no longer cared as it was an improvement, and he needed to hold him even if it was just once more.

"Please forgive me Fox for what I've done to you."

"I forgive you Alex, just rest and get some sleep."

"I can't I need you to understand, I watched you so many times after I left."

"Why leave then Alex if you wanted to be with me?"

"We don't always get what we want Fox, I just had to know you was okay that's why I watched you."

"My life became nothing when you left, we had both lied and was as bad as each other, shit I thought you had amnesia yet I told you we were lovers. At the end of the day we could have talked and worked things out."

"I was no better for lying to you in the first place, it had been heaven though being that close to you, shit I went from being your enemy to lover and I had wanted you for so long."

"I really believed you had amnesia and could not help myself."

"I had to leave Fox, I had to deal with Spender as there was no one left to do it, despite how I loved you thousands of other lives were at stake. What I wanted had to come second no matter how much I loved you."

"You could have just told me Alex we could have worked something out, shit I thought it was me why you left."

"If I'd told you Fox you would have made me stay."

"Yeah true you know me so well Alex."

"Will you stay with me tonight Fox as I don't want to be alone?

"Fine I will stay with you tonight Alex as we both could do with sleep."

Fox reached and kissed Alex on the lips and hugged him.

"I love you Alex and I have missed you so much."

"Even after I left Fox I never stopped loving you, shit that was all that kept me going every day."

They both fell asleep in each other’s arms a few minutes later with Alex waking first, he went for a shower and made some fresh coffee. He then went to check on Fox who was still fast asleep, Alex decided that now would be a good time to make some calls.

Mulder woke to find himself alone in the bed, he got up and dressed before going to find Alex. He found him in the kitchen making coffee and toast also he was humming to himself and seemed happy.

"Sit down Fox and I will get you some coffee."

"Thanks that would be great."

"I have some stuff to do today Fox, firstly some washing as you're borrowing my clothes."

"I can help if you want me too?"

"No it's okay I think we need some space and I need some air."

"Fine whatever."

"Please don't be like that Fox, why don't you go for a run while I clean up here then we can talk later?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Fuck you Mulder, if you don't trust me take the car keys with you then."

"I'm sorry, please Alex I don't want to spoil what we have.”

"Okay fine we can go for a walk later then if it's warm, we can have a talk then if you want."

"Fine you've got yourself a deal Alex."

"Come on then drink your coffee and move then."

Soon Alex went to gather all the dirty washing, he then started cleaning everywhere and sorting his stuff out.

Fox was soon to return rather hot and bothered, Alex made him some fruit juice and sent him to get a long shower to freshen himself up. However when Fox returned he felt exhausted and worn out shit all he wanted to do was get some decent sleep.

"Go have a rest Fox you will feel a lot better afterwards, then you will be wide awake and refreshed for that walk we planned."

“I don't know why I feel so tired, I must be out of shape as I haven’t done much lately."

"Don't worry about it, hell I might even join you later."

"Okay I will look forward to it."

As soon as Alex was alone he started getting his stuff sorted out and ready, most of it had already been packed in to a hold all and was ready. He had also got one of his spare guns and a passport from the hidden safe, when he'd bought the house Alex had made many alterations to suit his own needs.

Once Alex was sure he had everything he shrugged on his leather jacket and grabbed his keys, he had just one more thing to do before he left. He lay the envelope on the pillow as Fox slept peacefully, he then bent down and kissed the man on the cheek before quietly leaving the bed room.

Soon he found himself waiting outside for the cab he'd arranged earlier, he knew Fox would be pissed but he had no choice.

Fox woke sometime later realizing that it was now dark, shit he wondered just how long he'd being asleep and why he was still alone. He also wondered if Alex would still want to go for that walk or if it was too late now, however after looking at his watch he realized it was now ten pm.

He was just about to get out of bed when he saw the envelope on the pillow, Fox recognized the hand writing straight away.  
He felt so sick inside and feared the worst, it was to take him over an hour before he dare open the envelope, he then pulled out the long letter and started to read.

Dear Fox  
Please at least read this and hear me out, I want to apologize for the sleeping pills I slipped into your orange juice and coffee this morning, also for ranting on but I need you to understand.  
Fuck where the hell do I start so that you will make sense of it all, I suppose the best place would be at the beginning. The day I broke in to your apartment was to change my life then and in the future, you had me cuffed and naked on your bed and there I was not caring what you did to me, shit after the bang to my head I thought you would throw me out.

You were there holding me and telling me we were lovers, I had loved you for years so it was a dream come true for me. I wanted this new life so much and for it to go on forever, you treat me so different and like a real person for once and it was perfect. Hell up to then I never even knew you liked me that way, please don't ever blame yourself that I left as it was a matter of something I had to do.

One day I was watching some event on the news and I knew my life with you was over, I either returned to Spender or many people would die, I could not put myself before all those innocent lives.

Believe me Fox I was to pay for the time spent with you,, I had tried to lie to him telling him my memory returned, he told me to never lie to him again as he'd known all along, he arranged for four of his goons to put me in hospital. Shit Fox they broke many of my bones and then proceeded to rape me one by one, yet I would gladly suffer it all again if it meant another year as your lover.

I was finally free Fox and it was over, I had gone home to get drunk and then Skinner showed up in my bedroom, he beat me and even tried to drown me and I wanted revenge. I had gone there to drug Skinner so I could take a few pictures of him that would end his career, he beat me and raped me over and over again after he had drugged me.

I guess I deserved what I got as I had pushed Skinner to the limit, in the past I had made his life a living hell and was amazed he never killed me sooner. Then you showed up Fox and I saw a way out of there, you should have left me and gone back home then I wouldn’t have attacked you.

I was suffering withdrawal symptoms from the ketamine, I had become severely depressed and suicidal and should have just told you, but that's no excuse for what I did to you Fox. Great I can't even bring myself to say it, I raped you okay there I said it and I will never forgive myself for that.

I had to leave as I'm just so mixed up at the moment, you see my dear Fox you were right all along and I just run away from everything. I will still end up watching you now and again from afar but this is the end and the point of no return for us.

I know that you will hate me now for doing this, I hope you move on Fox and find someone who makes you happy as I never could, and it has to be this way.  
What else can I say other than I'm sorry, please try and forgive me.

I love you so much my Fox and my heart remains yours.  
Alex xx  
P.S just lock the door and post the keys when you leave, I will have someone take care of things as I have no plans to return.

"You fuckin bastard Alex how could you do this, fuck why when we were getting on."

Mulder was pissed off and realized he was shouting to an empty room, he could not understand why Alex had left him again. Shit what Alex had said, this was the point of no return and where it all ends. Mulder knew all he could do was return home and pray Alex had a change of heart.  
The days turned in to weeks and the weeks in to months, it had been six months and Alex had stayed away without any contact whatsoever. Mulder had been back to the cottage, he had even being to the apartment thanks to Skinner giving him the address, however he'd found both places totally empty. 

It hard been hard going back to work having Skinner as his Boss, however he had very little choice and had to get on and deal with things. He had lost all interest in running or even eating, not that he needed to exercise when the weight was falling off anyway.

Given time he could understand why Skinner had attacked Alex, he was starting to think that they were as bad as each other wanting revenge. After a while he was even starting to get on with Skinner again, well apart from when the man was moaning about his eating, or should he say lack of.

Fuck he had missed Alex so much and could not just forget him, however if Alex never wanted to be found he wouldn't be anytime soon.

Alex had moved on to somewhere new, he had arranged for the sale of all his properties that were known to Mulder. Alex had a larger house further from the city that suited his needs, he could not lie to himself any longer as to what he had become. Life was going to get very rough with the shit he was taking, Alex despised drug users and he also despised what he himself had become.

Alex knew that Fox would not want him now anyway, however he needed to see him once more even from a distance. Fuck it he would take a chance and spy on Fox, he knew he was out so he might even break in.  
He was a sad bastard and knew it was going to hurt to see fox again, however he had decided he would do it no matter what the consequences. A good shower and clean up and he would set of for the long drive ahead of him, well he had been the one who had decided to live this far away.

Mulder really felt like he was the one in the middle, Skinner was is boss yet capable of such violence, then there was Alex his lover who had also done so much. He could not condone what either man had done as they were both out of order and he wouldn't choose.

Skinner also knew that Mulder was having a hard time, however he would not sit there and watch the man waste away with worry. Skinner decided that it was time to be a man and face Mulder, he knew that it would be hard after what he'd done to Krycek, hell he had always thought himself better than the men he arrested...

Mulder arrived home later that day to find his boss waiting outside his apartment, he had an idea the man was there on personal business.

"Come in Sir and sit down, so what brings you here then?"

  
"Thank you Agent Mulder for letting me come in, I think we need to talk for both our sakes.”

"Yeah so do I, shit I can't live like this and I had really looked up to you Sir."

"I can only apologize Agent Mulder as I can't change the past, hell I have no excuse and I just lost it when I saw Krycek."

"Well in all fairness Alex has a way of doing that to people, shit he killed you then brought you back."

"I can't take it anymore living like this Mulder, he could turn up at any time or anywhere and use that box, hell I’m amazed he hasn't yet after what I did to him."

"I think that Alex has long gone now and doesn't want to be found anymore, hell if he shows I think we all need to talk like adults."

Mulder went in to the kitchen with a bottle of very strong vodka, he had also grabbed a couple of glasses.

"So Sir are you staying for a drink?"

"Yeah go on then as it's the weekend, and Mulder please call me Walter."

"Fine okay Walter, I would tell you it’s okay to call me Fox however I would be lying."

They sat there for the next few hours just talking about the past, they also managed to finish off all the vodka.

"Shit Mulder I really think it's time I was moving."

"You can't drive home now Sir, Sorry I mean Walter."

"Fine I will call a cab."

"You might as well sleep here until morning, that way it saves having to come back for your car.” 

"Only if you're sure I won't be putting you out."

"No it's fine as I don't use the bed anyway."

Skinner was soon in bed and fast asleep while Mulder used the couch, no change there as that's where he always slept. Even after all the vodka Mulder still struggled to sleep, soon he heard Skinner moaning and having a nightmare so went to check on him.

Mulder stood transfixed as Skinner lay there talking in his sleep, the man seemed to be extremely distressed.

"Please I can't take any more, God it's unbearable and it hurts so much, please just finish it Krycek."

Mulder knew that Skinner was dreaming about the pain Alex had caused him, he lay beside the troubled man and held him

"It's okay Walter go back to sleep as you're safe now, no one will hurt you I guarantee it."

Within no time as all both men were soon fast asleep and it was peaceful once more, that was until they woke to the loud shouting.

"You fuckin bastard Mulder."

Before Mulder even became fully awake he felt someone on him, shit then his lip fucking hurt as it split open, Mulder forced his eyes open to see one very pissed of Alex Krycek.

"Krycek get off Mulder now or I will remove you myself."

"Fuck you Skinner."

"Shit Alex please let go of me it's not what you think."

Mulder had suddenly realized that Alex must think he was sleeping with Walter, well Alex must still want him if he was jealous.  
"Just leave it Walter Please I will deal with Alex."

"Fine Mulder unless he hits you again."

"Ha I see its Walter now, fuck it must be love."

"Alex please let me up and we can go talk about it, shit Walter was drunk and stayed over and I fell asleep here."

"You lying fuckin whore Mulder, You soon got over me didn't you, so it was all bullshit what you spouted about loving me?"

"Please Alex I do love you."

"Why the fuck should I believe a lying whore like you."

Before Mulder even had a chance to reply Alex punched him once more, this time it was full on in Mulders stomach? Skinner saw red and grabbed Alex and threw him onto the floor.

"I warned you Krycek that you either talk or fuck off."

"Poor Walter do you love Fox."

"Alex please just hear me out, Walter go in to the room and we will join you in a few minutes."

"Are you sure that’s wise Mulder, I don't really like leaving you with him."

"Yeah don't worry Walter he will behave, if not it ends now and he can get out."

As soon as Skinner left the room Mulder turned to face Alex, he knew this was out of control and had to end.

"Please Alex you listen to what I have to say or we go our separate ways right now, I want you to walk in to that room and sit down, we will have this discussion like adults. I have had enough of all this bullshit over the years and it ends tonight here and now."

"Fine I will do it for you Fox, please forgive me for hitting you I had no right to behave like that, I just saw Skinner and you know...."

"Yeah you put two and two together and came up with five, come on we will talk about that later."

They walked in to the living room and both sat down, Mulder decided he would start the conversation off first.

"Right let’s get this sorted who wants to start?"

Alex stood up and started pacing the room.

"What do you expect me to say to him, shit Skinner raped me over and over then beat me."

"I am here in the room Krycek, fuck it's alright when the shoes on the other foot though. You fucking killed me the most painful way you could then brought me back."

"You should be thankful Skinner, hell without me you would have stayed dead."

"You're so full of shit Krycek, hell you still hold it over me with your little black box. I am left day after day not knowing if you will use it on me, and I hate you for making my life a living hell."

"You stupid fuckin bastard, hell it doesn't even exist anymore."

"Why the hell should I believe you Krycek?"

"Do you really think that I would have used ketamine on you if I still had it, you really think you're so fuckin smart and superior to everyone?"

"I wouldn't put anything past the likes of you Krycek."

"Fuck you Skinner as you're no better than me."

"You deserve everything you get Krycek, hell they should have cut both your fucking arms off along with your lying tongue."

With that Krycek threw himself at Skinner and laid hell in to Skinner, the remark about his arm had triggered him off big time.

"Alex please just stop, hell I want you both out of my apartment now."

Mulder was pissed big time by the pair of them, so much for sorting things out between them all, shit it was then that he noticed the change in Alex...

"Skinner grabbed the man’s hand to stop the punches, then Krycek lost it and tried biting Skinner.

"Mulder give me your cuffs."

"We can't arrest him Skinner, please for me don't do it."

"Mulder I want them for our safety as well as his, move Mulder and just fuckin get them."

Skinner had all on holding the man as Mulder put the cuffs on the man he loved, Alex had to be restrained as he was like a wild animal yet it broke Mulders heart to do it.

"Please Alex just calm down and then we can remove then."

"Fuck you Mulder, I fucking hate you now you’re nothing but a whore."

"Please Alex I only love you."

"Fuck you both just let me go."

With that Skinner pulled Krycek to his feet, once in the bathroom he re cuffed the man to the sink pipe.

"You can stay here for now and just calm down, piss me of Krycek and you will suffer."

Krycek sat there pissed off as Skinner walked out and closed the door, fuck what would he do now the high was over...

"I am sorry for this Mulder, however I really think that Krycek needs to calm down a bit."

"Yeah he's not coping to well, maybe we should just let him go Walter."

"Do you really think I'm safe now Mulder, and that Krycek really doesn’t have the black box?"

"He had a point and I think if he had it he would have used it by now God I need a drink more than ever now."

They sat down and had a few drinks and called a truce, Mulder knew it was pointless carrying on all the fighting between them.

"God I need a piss and I suppose I better check on Alex as he must have fallen asleep, I won’t be long Walter."

"Yeah joys of alcohol, I think I will need to go soon Mulder."

"Okay Walter just give me a minute."

Mulder walked in to the bathroom and got one hell of a shock, Alex looked so ill and had thrown up everywhere, and the man was also severely shaking.

"Walter get me the key for my cuffs."

Skinner strolled along towards the bathroom door.

"Hell do you think that’s a good.........., oh shit what the hell happened to Krycek?"

"I have no idea, can you carry him to the couch Walter?"

Skinner lay the man on the couch and went to get some warm water.

"Check his pockets Mulder as he might be taking some medication."

"Okay will do."

Mulder pulled out the contents of Alex’s pockets and was not pleased, shit there was some brown powder and a few needles and liquid along with a box of pills. The box of pills were unmarked with what they were or were for.

"Walter can you call Scully for me now please?"

"Yeah okay I'm on it."

Thirty minutes later Scully turned up looking rather annoyed, she had not been happy with the call at this time of night.

"So what's the emergency this time Mulder, you said it was Krycek yet I thought that ended ages ago?"

"We did he just came to talk."

"Let me have a look at him then."

Scully checked the man over, she checked his pulse and blood pressure too.

"He is in withdrawal Mulder, however I have no idea what the pills are for. He is physically okay and very strong and will need some help, although I can't say the same about his mental state."

"So will he be okay in the long run."

"He will pull through with help however things will get far worse as he goes through withdrawal, I will also have to go and see what the pills are for and get back to you."

"How soon can you do that Scully?"

"I will go to the lab now but you owe me one Mulder."

“I really appreciate it Scully.”

"Whatever Mulder, I will phone you as soon as I know anything."

They both said their goodbyes and Scully left to go to the lab.  
Mulder returned to Alex and held him so close, God he loved this man yet he fought at every turn and ran away.

"What made you do it Alex, shit I was there but you kept pushing me away?"

"Tired Fox need to sleep forever, need to forget."

"I am here for you always so please don't cry babe."

Mulder kept hold of Alex as the tremors shook his body, after a short time he realized that Alex had fallen asleep. Mulder jumped when Walter handed him the phone, shit he had not realized that he also had fallen asleep.

"It's Scully on the phone and she says it's urgent."

"Thanks Walter."

Mulder took the phone and tried to sit up without waking Alex, he wanted the man to stay asleep for a while.

"Scully it's me what’s up?"

"I have found out what Alex was using Mulder, you really need to get some help for him."

"Just tell me Scully and I'll see what I can do."

"Fine Mulder the tablets were sleeping pills and sertraline which is an anti-depressant, my guess is that Krycek is very disturbed at the moment."

"Yeah I know he's been through some bad shit lately, so what about the powder and liquid."

"There's no easy way of saying it Mulder, the liquid is ketamine, I'm sure you will know what that's used for and the powder is heroin, Krycek is a drug addict Mulder."

Scully was greeted by silence and wondered if Mulder was still there.

"Mulder talk to me did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah I heard you Scully, shit what the fuck am I supposed to do now then?"

"He will get far worse Mulder and will need help, I never had Krycek down as a drug user."

"Normally he's not, shit Scully can I confide in you without Alex knowing?"

"Of course you can Mulder I do have Doctors ethics."

"He was clean Scully, however he was raped repeatedly over a few days and drugged with ketamine."

"He will have become dependent on it Mulder, however ketamine will have no effect after a while and the user moves on to something stronger, that could be why he had heroin on him. The tablets could be prescription for all I know, did he get help after the rape."

"I don't think so as he just shut everyone out and moved on, he ran away in true Alex style as that's what he does."

"I have a friend Mulder who has a drug clinic, I will give them a call and see if they can help you."

"Okay and thank you Scully."

Mulder hung up and thought about everything she said, he then also filled Walter in to what Scully had said.

"Shit I swear I never wanted that for him Mulder, fuck I'm a monster for what I've done to him."

"Alex was no saint Walter, hell he could dig his own grave with his mouth. Alex wanted love and affection as hard as that may seem and hid behind the hard act. If he gets help he will have to learn to deal with things, however you Walter also need help to deal with what you did to him."

"I will lose my job and everything Mulder."

"Go somewhere where no one knows you then but you must get help."

Mulder and Skinner sat in silence both lost in their own thoughts, the silence was only broken by the ringing phone.

"Mulder here."

"Mulder it's me."

"Hi Scully any news."

"I have an address for you Mulder, you need to take Alex there straight away."

"Thanks Scully can I just ask you one more question."

"What's that Mulder?"

"Is it private as I have someone else that needs to talk to someone?"

"Yeah he will see you while you're there Mulder."

"Hell it's not me Scully but thanks anyway."

Mulder hung up and then tried to wake Alex.

"Come on Alex we needs to take you for some help. I want my old Alex back the one I love."

"Fuck you Mulder, Hell I'm not leaving here without my stuff."

Alex was up fast and slammed Mulder in to the wall, he then pinned him there by the throat.

"I won't fuckin ask you again, I will snap your fuckin neck if you don't get it now."

As Alex was delusional and suffering from withdrawal he had forgot all about Skinner. He soon found himself on the floor with Skinner pinning him down, his mood changed instantly and he sat there sobbing in Skinners arms.

Mulder grabbed the phone and went in to another room, he never wanted Alex to overhear him.

"Scully I need a favour."

"What now Mulder?"

"Is there any chance you can get me a sedative for Alex, as that might be the only way of getting him there?"

"I won't be long Mulder."

Scully arrived and the first thing she noticed was Mulders neck.

"What the hell happened here Mulder?"

"Alex happened that’s what, all I did was suggest we got him help."

"You should have just taken him Mulder without telling him, where is he now?"

Mulder led Scully over towards Alex.

"Hi Sir are you okay, I hear Alex has caused a lot of work."

"I'm fine Scully don't worry about me."

Scully injected Alex then Skinner carried him to the car, Mulder sat in the back holding Alex while Skinner drove.

Once at the clinic Skinner was sent to talk with a psychiatrist while Mulder was sent home. They needed to get Alex settled and there was nothing he could do anyway, also Mulder needed some sleep.

Krycek was kept under sedation at the orders of Walter Skinner, that way it was safer for all concerned including Alex. They ran various tests and took plenty of blood, now all they could do was wait for the results. Meanwhile Skinner was sent in to another room.

"Please sit down Sir, my name is Doctor Taylor and I assure you anything said won't go further than this room."

"You can call me Walter, shit I don't even know where to begin."

"Take your time Walter and start where it feels right."

“Nothing feels right anymore, hell maybe I should just start at the beginning if that's okay."

"Yes that's fine go ahead Walter, tell me as much as you feel comfortable with."

Doctor Taylor sat back and listened as Skinner told him pretty much everything.

"You will have to understand there are certain things I can't tell you because of my job but I will do my best, let’s see I basically had an Agent under me and he was young and seemed very talented, however that was a cover for the real man underneath.

He was a murderer liar and a traitor and then he went AWOL, I got the blame for not detecting that he was a rogue agent, hell things just went downhill after that.

He later beat me to retrieve some information, he then went one step further and used some technology to make me suffer a horrible death just to bring me back to life. He also has this black box that he can use at any time to cause pain, hell he could use it on me at any given time."

Skinner stopped to take a breather so the Doctor decided to ask a couple of questions.

"That must have made you very angry, I guess given your job it was hard to deal with the matter."

"Angry, hell I was pissed off and wanted him dead and out of my life, however I was then to find out he'd taken one of my valuable Agents as a lover, they later split up and I thought I would never see him again.

Only later he reappeared then do you know what I did, hell I followed him to his home, and I then preceded to beat him and try to drown the man. I had to get the hell out of there away from him, shit I would have killed him if I had stayed.

"So you felt some remorse for the man and what you might do to him."

"No I was worried about my career and Kryceks ex-lover, shit Mulder would never forgive me if I’d hurt Krycek."

"So you left and it ended there then?"

"Hell no, later Krycek showed up at my apartment and drugged me, he then started taking pictures of me naked and included himself in the photos. If they had been made public my career would be over, shit Assistant director in gay relationships don’t go down too well."

"So how did you react to this new threat?"

"When the drug wore off and I could move I seized my opportunity, I drugged the man with his own ketamine and raped him."

"How did you feel at the time you were doing this?"

"Hell I felt great and in control, I still felt that way as I beat and raped him repeatedly."

"Do you feel guilty now for what you did to the man?"

"No that's just it, I hate him more than ever and don't regret the suffering I forced upon him, I only regret what I did because of my career with the F.B.I."

"Do you think you will ever see the man in question again in your life?"

"Hell yeah you have him in the next room."

"I see, the man we have sedated is the one who you did this to?"

"Yeah but I won't harm him while Mulders around."

"Do you think that you could talk to him, it might help you?"

"I tried but he was too drugged up at the time."

"We could arrange to do it here as it might be safer for both of you."

"I am willing to try as I can't live my life this way any longer."

"I want you to come back in a few days, in the meantime I want you to think a few things over, regarding what he did to you and his reasons."

"Fine I am willing to give it a try, however it will also depend on whether Krycek is willing, as believe me actions speak louder with Alex Krycek."

They said their goodbyes and Skinner left, he was starting to feel like just leaving and moving away.

After Mulder had returned home, he had grabbed a shower and even slept for a few hours, trouble was he still felt like shit when he woke later on. He wondered what the hell he would do with his fucked up life, he loved Alex so much and also his career.

He also wondered if he could cope now with Alex’s drug habit and jealousy, so many questions yet he had no answers to them, he decided it was time to visit Alex and just see how things went from there. Mulder grabbed his Keys and decided to ring Skinner and Scully on the way.

Finally Mulder reached the car park and just sat there, shit he was not ready to face everyone at the moment. Hell at the end of the day Skinner was still his boss and he had to answer to him. Scully had just been her usual self, she worried about him and wanted him to just be happy.

  
Mulder got out of the car as he couldn't put things of any longer, he had to see Alex and see what the doctor had to say.

  
Alex was slowly coming around, the Doctor had stopped using the sedative as he didn't see the need or the risk. The Doctor could not judge the man’s mental state unless he was fully awake.

  
However once Alex was awake he became really pissed off and irritated, he had so much shit going around inside his head, the worst was the image of Mulder in bed with Skinner, shit just seeing them together as he'd entered the bedroom.

Fuck why could he not remember what had happened, then again he guessed that he remembered the main thing.  
Skinner was a dead man and as for Fox, well let’s just say he would deal with him his own way.

He managed to get out of bed and find his clothes and dress, he finally managed despite his pounding headache. Fuck it was then that he realized his pockets were empty that meant no gun or knife, also no fuckin drugs.

He found the back entrance and calmly walked away from the hospital, he had places to go and people to see.

Upon entering the hospital Mulder went in search of the Doctor, he soon located the man in question and asked to talk.

"Hi I am Special Agent Mulder Scullys partner, I brought a man in here last night and need to know how he's doing."

"Firstly Agent Mulder, Alex is doing better than we thought as physically he's in good condition. However mentally we could not treat him as he was under sedation, the blood results showed up the tablets and ketamine in his system."

"So did Alex use the heroin at all?"

"No there was no trace of that only the ketamine, also the pills were been used for depression and sleeping problems."

"So you will have to stop sedating him to test him mentally, I will need to be informed of this and arrange extra security as he will disappear."

"I am sorry Agent Mulder but we have already stopped sedating him."

"Great show me the room now, hell we may already be too late."

The Doctor rushed to the room followed by Agent Mulder, however they both found Alex gone and the room empty.

"Fuck where the hell have you gone Alex?"

"There was a nurse in here not long ago so he can't be far."

"You underestimate Alex, if he's gone he's gone, we might never find him and chances are he needs help."

"I will have security search the grounds."

"Fine I need to go, can you please contact me if he's found."

Mulder walked off as he needed to speak to Skinner, he also needed to get his spare gun and find Alex. After arriving at his apartment he just sat in the car, as much as he loved the man Alex was hard work. Shit it had been so easy when he'd thought Alex had lost his memory, why did Alex have a conscience and have to tell him the truth.

He knew he had to stop wallowing in self-pity, he was so tired when he reached the fourth floor and just wanted to sleep.

Mulder unlocked the door to apartment forty two and went inside, as soon as the door shut he felt the fist that connected with his stomach.

Fuck the fist had winded him and had taken him by surprise, he felt the gun that was pressed to his temple and heard the click, shit he knew the safety was now off.

"Sit the fuck down Mulder and keep your mouth shut."

"What the hell are you playing at Alex?"

"You deserve it Mulder so quit whining."

"Deserve what, to be punched and have a gun put to my head."

"Yeah you were the fuckin whore in bed with Skinner, you're a slut Mulder and I should shoot you right now."

"I explained that to you Alex, please listen to me babe I love you."

"You don't know the meaning of the word Mulder, shit if it moves you would fuck it."

"I don't have to take this Alex just go."

"You don't have a choice Mulder as I believe I'm the one with the gun."

"Yeah that's right big boy Alex has to hide behind a gun' you would be fuck all without it."

"Is that what you really think Mulder?"

It was not what Mulder thought as he knew Alex was strong, however he would feel safer if the other man put the gun down.

"Yeah it's what I think Alex as you're nothing more than a druggie."

"You bastard I will show you."

"Come on then you pathetic drugged up excuse of a man."

With that Alex dropped the gun and had Mulder pinned to the floor.

"Is this what you want Mulder, like it rough do you, I bet that's how Skinner fucked you."

"He never touched me Alex, but hell yeah I bet he's more of a man than you are."

"He can have you Mulder."

"Fuck I wanted you Alex and only you, I just can't cope with you or your mood swings."

"But you want anyone that will have you Mulder."

"What the fuck's wrong with you Alex, you seem determine to push me away all the time, I bet that's why you accuse me of all the things you do."

"Because I know it's is a lie."

"What's a lie Alex please tell me."

"You’re so smart and gorgeous Fox and there's no way in hell you would want me, that's why I know you're just fucking with my head."

"You need help Alex."

"Help for what, for loving you so much?"

"I do love you too Alex, however if you can’t deal with it just leave."

"Fine whatever, shows how much you really love me."

Mulder could not believe it as he watched the man pick his gun up, Alex holstered the weapon and walked towards the door.

"You fuckin bastard, shit you really are going to just leave?"

"Yeah just like that."

"Fine go then, there's only one thing I wish had been different."

"And what would that be Mulder?"

"I wish that you had really lost your memory that day."

"Believe me Mulder so do I."

With that the door slammed shut as Alex walked out once more.  
Mulder felt so pissed off and alone, Scully had spent a lot of time at her mothers and wanted family time. Skinner had also informed him that he had booked a vacation, he would be spending three months at his cabin.

It suddenly hit Mulder that he had no one in his life, he had fucked up and most probably be alone most of his life. He decided that he would take a months’ vacation of his own, he would spend it depressed and getting drunk.

Alex knew it would not work with Mulder and it was time to move on, he loved the man so much but had made his life hell, why did he have to be so paranoid and jealous.

Over the next couple of months Alex cashed in everything he owned property wise, he then bought the perfect house to spend his life alone in. He had the best decorators and had bought all new furniture, he even bought a fish tank as he believed Fox would have liked it.

Over time things were getting worse as he could not stop thinking about what he'd lost, he even had a wardrobe full of Armani suits in Fox’s size. Alex knew he was starting to lose it big time, however he needed to see Fox just one more time.

Mulder had still not returned to work, he knew he would be fired if he kept this up much longer not that he cared. He spent most of his days just drinking and drinking, either he would stay in or find the nearest bar.

He had taken a couple of men back to his apartment, however none had compared to the man he still loved.

This was the third time Alex had visited Mulder and it was always at night, he would slip in silently and inject Mulder with a sleeping drug. The first time he had just sat there watching the man, however that had been hard as he had wanted him so much.

On the second visit he had stroked his hair and kissed him, that time he had stayed far longer than he should have. Alex knew he had to get over this obsession and leave the man alone, he wondered if Fox ever thought about him or still loved him.

Alex stood over Fox watching his chest rise and fall, God he loved the man so much, he had to wonder why the hell he'd thrown everything away.

This time he went one step further and touched Fox, he put his hands down Fox’s pants and found the warm organ he was looking for, he then proceeded to jerk him off. He soon realized that his own cock was also rock hard as Fox moaned in his sleep, Alex kept it up until the other man came all over his hand then cleaned himself.

He would deal with his own situation later as it was yet again time to leave, Alex knew this wouldn't be the last time as he was unable to stay away now.

Alex crept slowly and quietly away back in to the dark night, he knew he would be back here again very soon. 

Mulder woke with one hell of a hangover, he felt his pants all sticky and knew he'd come yet again shit he was far too old for wet dreams. He decided it was time to clean himself up and put some decent clothes on, it was time to pick up a real man even if it was just for one night, he would have the real thing instead of his fantasies.

  
A few hours later Mulder was shaved showered and dressed ready to go out, he was looking really sexy in his tight fitting clothes, not that Mulder ever found it hard pulling someone for one night.

Everyone only seemed to want one night stands anyway and no one seemed capable of a relationship any more.  
He himself though was not capable either so it didn't matter, sex was all he wanted anyway as life was too complicated as it was, and no one would compare to Alex anyway so what was the point.

Mulder ordered a taxi and had a couple of vodkas to get him started, once the taxi arrived he locked up and left. He was at the bar less than an hour and was already getting chatted up, he was now too drunk to care anymore about looks as all he wanted was to get laid.

Soon he was on his way home with some tall dark haired stranger, hell he couldn't even remember the man’s name.   
Once in the apartment the man the man became very possessive and started tearing Mulders clothes from his body, however Mulder was too drunk to do anything as he was shoved on the bed.

All he could hear was the man calling him a slut and a whore, but fuck he felt it when the other mans large cock was forced deep within him. He had screamed with pain before he had finally passed out from the alcohol.

Alex Krycek had let himself in to the apartment as usual and soon stopped dead in his tracks, he could hear some strange man’s voice coming from the bedroom. As soon as all was quiet he crept in to the bedroom, he then injected Fox with the sleeping drug and just waited.

Once he knew the drug had taken effect on Fox he moved, he moved fast as he dragged the unknown man from beside his Fox, he dragged him into the living room and punched him full on hard in the stomach, he then threw the injured man on to the couch.

"Get the fuck off me you sick bastard."

"Ha you call me sick, believe me you've seen nothing yet."

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Let's just say I'm his guardian angel, you lay one finger on him again and I will kill you."

Alex pulled out his gun and put it against the mans temple.

"Fine, shit I don't want any trouble just let me get my clothes and I'm gone."

"You got trouble the day you laid eyes on Fox, you have two minutes or I will shoot you."

Alex watched as the man fled from the apartment half dressed, Alex then went in the bedroom to check how Fox was doing. He knew that Fox would regret what he'd done in the morning and get depressed over it, he got a clean cloth and set about removing all traces of the other man’s semen, also there was blood from Fox.

 Alex felt sick at the sight of what the man had done, he got up and had to leave the room fast.

Alex stood up and as he did he dropped his keys, it was only as he bent to retrieve them he noticed the vodka bottles. Shit there must have been at least thirty empty bottles. He realized that Fox must have been depressed long before this man came along.

Shit he was going to need to keep a closer eye on Fox now if things were that bad, he wondered if he was to blame for Fox's depression or if the man missed him. As soon as he had made the man comfy he decided to leave, he had been torn apart having to watch Fox destroy himself this way.

Fox woke the next morning and felt really sore and then suddenly he remembered the night before, fuck what was he doing to himself and was it what he wanted. At least the man had left which made things easier as he could not face him.

Fox felt strange as all he could smell was the scent of leather and Alex, he realized he must be losing it big-time. He just felt like someone was watching him from time to time, also as if someone had been in his apartment other than himself.

Fox went for a really hot and long shower before calling the gunmen, he wanted a couple of hidden cameras installing in his apartment. The gunmen told him they'd be round in a couple of hours, also that it would be no problem at all and wouldn't take long to do.

Mulder would at least be able to pop out quickly for his weekly shop, as it never took long to get some more vodka.

Alex went back home and decided to wait a few nights before returning, shit he hadn't realized Fox had drank that much vodka when he'd injected him and needed to see if it was safe.

He also needed some space to himself as he was not coping too well, he had a gorgeous home and plenty of money but felt so alone, shit all he had wanted was to share his home with Fox Mulder.

Alex would have given anything to see the man happy and smiling again.  
Sometimes he thought the easiest option would be to kidnap the man and bring him here, however he had wanted Fox to come and live with him willingly.

He decided it was time to check on Fox however this time he would not be hanging around for long, he would get plenty of rest as it was a long drive.

As much as Mulder loved Scully she still did his head in at times, he knew at the end of the day it was because she cared about him. They were like brother and sister as Scully knew he loved Alex, hell she'd not being happy at first but had finally come round because of her love for him.

He really wished that she was here for him now as he just wanted some company, he grabbed the bottle of vodka knowing it was going to be the only company he got tonight.

He soon felt light headed and the summer heat didn't help, the gunmen had left a couple of hours earlier so he now lay naked on the bed with his bottle.

Alex drove at normal speed as he was becoming very tired, he had to wonder why the hell he'd moved so far away. He entered the apartment and was greeted with total silence and had to wonder if Fox was here. As he opened the bedroom door he noticed Fox asleep on the bed, he also noticed yet another empty bottle.

  
"Shit baby what the hell are you doing to yourself?"

Fox was totally out of it yet Alex still injected him, tonight he had his own reasons for wanting to keep the man asleep. Alex stroked his hand lovingly over the naked body that he'd missed so much, he then proceeded to remove his own clothes and lay beside the sleeping man.

After a while he became rather uncomfortable as his own cock ached so much, he needed to come desperately after been this close to Fox. He had planned to just use his hand at first and come that way, as he looked at Fox he knew that would never happen now.

He rolled Fox on to his back and pushed his legs, fuck the sight alone was pushing him close to the edge now so he needed to move. Alex inserted one finger and then another in to the man below him.

"Shit I love you so much Fox, God help me if I hurt you but I need to be in you right now babe."

He then went on to insert a third finger using a scissoring motion to stretch the man, however without lube Fox would feel it in the morning, he should really just get up and leave here and leave Fox not that he could do that now.

Everything was beyond the point of no return, he bent over the unwilling man and forced himself in hard. Fox stirred and moaned in his sleep and started mumbling something.

"Please forgive me Fox."

Alex worked up a rhythm until he could hold back no longer and finally came, it took everything out of him and he collapsed on the other man. He had no idea how much time had passed when he woke, however it was still dark so at least that was a good sign.

Fox was still sleeping but he seemed deeply troubled, the man kept tossing and turning. Alex was unable to make out what Fox was saying, yet he knew it was time he said goodbye and left.

Getting dressed was a slow job and Alex hated it, maybe he should have left his top off with his stupid fuckin arm.  
How in God’s name could anyone like Fox even want him never mind love him, he was nothing but a fucking cripple and incomplete.

He knew if he stayed any longer he would become depressed, it was just a reminder of what he'd thrown away in life.  
Once he finally managed to dress and get himself sorted it was time to go, he gave Fox one final kiss upon his lips.

"Alex."

Alex jumped back as Fox spoke his name, however he soon realized Fox was still asleep and dreaming. He wondered if it was a good dream or a nightmare, shit did he subconsciously know what Alex had done. He locked the door behind him and left as quiet as he had entered, he set of on his journey home and never paid much attention as the tears dropped down his cheeks.

Fox woke shaking and covered in sweat, shit he felt like he'd run a marathon twice over. He decided to take a long hot shower and sober up, maybe he was drinking far too much and that wasn't helping.

As soon as Fox moved he felt sick, he felt like he'd been having rough sex all night long as his ass hurt that much. He stood up and saw the blood on the sheets and his thighs, shit when he looked in to the mirror he also saw many bruises on his fair skin.

Why was someone doing this to him and how were they pulling it off that was when Fox remembered the cameras. He wanted to shower and clean his teeth first as he felt so dirty and still felt sick. 

He turned on the monitor and rewound the tape from the previous evening, he then pressed play and watched the events unfold before his eyes. There on the screen was Alex watching him sleep, so it had been Alex along who was getting in to his apartment, at least he knew now however he felt even worse.

He had sat there watching the video for over an hour just watching the events as they happened, he then turned it off and sat staring at the blank screen. He sat there just thinking about Alex as he had missed him so much, the same Alex who had injected and taken advantage of him.

How the hell could Alex really love him and then treat him like this, Fox felt like his whole world had just fallen apart along with his sanity. He knew he needed to do something after an hour of feeling sorry for himself, he vowed here and now to stop drinking and wait for Alex to return, as he knew it would only be a matter of time before he would come back.

Mulder had no one to talk to yet felt like he was going to end up mad, he just kept going over and over what he'd seen on video The biggest question was what would he do to Alex when he finally showed up, he just felt so used and violated.

Meanwhile Alex had gone back home and was so happy with himself, he really believed he'd got what he had craved and would be able to leave Fox alone now. The only thing now was he knew what he was missing and craved Fox more than ever, he loved the man and had no intention of hurting him.

However it was not like Fox would ever know and all he wanted was just one more time, however one more time would never be good enough. Alex knew it was wrong but he was unable to stop himself

Soon after another night Alex was back on his way to Alexandria, he arrived early and slept for a few hours in the car between the depression and his previous lack of sleep, also he would need his sleep to deal with Fox.

He awoke in the evening and had a walk to stretch his legs, however if he had his way something else would be stiff soon. Once it became late he made his way to the fourth floor, he had decided to use the stairs as it was far safer, he had no intention of having to deal with the neighbours.

All at apartment forty two was quiet so he opened the door and crept in, he soon found Fox in his usual place on the bed. There was also even more empty vodka bottles on the bed alongside the man.

Everything was so easy due to the alcohol and the injection was just a precaution. He pulled out the syringe and looked down at Fox, God he needed him and also needed to be inside him so much it hurt.

Alex bent down and stroked Fox along the cheek. However as he went to inject the sleeping man it all went wrong.

"Do it and you're a dead man."

"Shit you're awake?"

Alex froze as he felt the gun against his head, he knew that if Fox was too drunk he might pull the trigger, Alex wondered if he could possibly overpower Fox.

"Yeah wide awake for the first time in months Alex."

"You're not drunk then.”

“No far from it, you see the last drink I had Alex was the night you paid me a fuckin visit and raped me."

"Oh God Fox please it's not what you think."

"What the fuck do I think Alex?"

"I did it because I love you."

"Love what a fuckin joke I'd hate to be your enemy then, you break in inject me then rape me in the name of love."

"Please Fox hear me out."

"Undress Alex."

Alex was starting to panic now, what the hell did Fox want, he removed his clothes and stood there in his boxers and tee shirt.

"All of it Alex."

"Please I am begging you Fox just let me go."

"You can go Alex when I say you can and only then, so just get them off now."

Alex removed the rest of his clothes and stood there naked, Fox had noticed the look of fear on the mans gorgeous face.

"Lay on the bed on your back Alex then inject yourself with the syringe."

"Shit Fox I will do anything but please not this."

"Shut the fuck up Alex, do it now or I swear I’ll shoot you."

"Fuck you Fox there's no way that you'd shoot an unarmed man."

Fox aimed at the bed just beside the man's head and pulled the trigger, the bullet lodged somewhere in the mattress.

"You crazy fuckin bastard, shit you nearly fuckin killed me."

"After what you did Alex you're lucky that I didn't put the bullet in your head, however the next one won't miss."

Alex plunged the needle in to his leg and emptied the syringe, he lay there knowing there was nothing he could do now.

"Please Fox I love you."

"Shut the fuck up Alex, I saw what you did to me that night."

"God help me Fox I am so sorry."

"Too late Alex, you see I had cameras installed and I saw everything, I saw how you used me and violated me. Fuck you raped me Alex and got your rocks off at my expense, you messed me up and I hate you for it."

"I never meant to do it, hell all I had wanted was to be with you Fox."

"We could have been together Alex but you blew that, you have walked out on me more than once now and I can't deal with it."

"I don't know what to say or do, shit Fox yeah I’m stupid and fucked up again."

"Just relax Alex, the drug will kick in soon and there won't be anything you can do so don't fight it, oh and don't worry I’ll record it for you."

Alex knew he was drifting in to sleep, he felt Fox kiss him on the forehead but could not understand what he said.

"I love you babe however some things are just not meant to be, and we are that something Alex."

Fox stretched out and waited for Alex to wake up, he knew it might take some time until he was fully alert again. Early hours of the morning Alex began to moan and slowly become alert, once he was fully alert Fox went over to him.

"Come on Alex let's just get this over with."

"Fox."

"Just shut the fuck up Alex and do what I say."

Alex thought it safer to remain quiet and go along with Fox, he was ordered at gunpoint to sit in a chair and watch the monitor, Fox then pressed play on the video. Alex sat there and kept watching the blank screen, he could not understand why he was seeing nothing.

"Please Fox, hell I need to know what you did?"

"That's the point Alex, I did nothing to you because I can't hurt you that way. It never crossed your mind did it Alex what you were doing to me, sorry I forgot you just never expected me to find out so that made it okay."

"It wasn't okay Fox and it should never have happened, I just saw you there naked and I couldn't help myself."

"Lucky one of us has some control; then, I want you to get up and get dressed now."

"Please Fox can we at least talk?"

"Get the fuck out of my apartment Alex."

"You're going to just end it like this?"

"It ended ages ago Alex, it should never have even started."

"Please Fox I will sell my soul to the Devil himself for just another chance."  
"Ha you sold it to the Devil the day you met Spender, it's too late I want you gone now."

Alex grabbed his jacket and turned to leave, he had just one thing to say to Fox before he slammed the door.

"It's not over yet Fox, so make sure you watch your back."

Fox was left just stood there, as far as he was concerned it was well and truly over.

On the other hand Alex vowed he would get Fox to listen to him, just this time he had to do it without hurting the man. He had plenty of time so there was no point rushing things as he wanted them right, he had to show Fox and prove to him how much he loved and wanted him.

  
Fox suffered greatly from depression, hell he had even changed all the locks and added a couple extra. However after just a few months he had stopped using them, it was obvious now that Alex wasn't coming back. It bothered him that he would never see his ex-lover again, God he loved the man so much it hurt.

Fox decided that it was time to return to work and face the world, well it was either that or go totally mad alone.  
He had been back at work for over a month and things were going okay, even Skinner seemed to be okay after some time had passed. However being back at work was draining after the time he'd spent away, he would go home and have a long hot shower then a beer and take away.

As soon as he entered his apartment he felt strong hands grab him from behind, he then found himself shoved on to his couch.

"Honey I'm home."

"For fucks sake Alex you're like a bloody pad penny, every time I start to get over you you're suddenly there."

"Admit it Fox, you know that you missed me?"

"You're not funny Alex, just get the fuck out and let me go."

 

"You have two choices Fox, you can walk out or be dragged out either way you're coming with me."

"Fuck you Krycek."

"You must be pissed off Fox, hell it's a long time since you called me that."

"I'm tired and not in the mood for your stupid games."

"So what's it going to be then Fox?"

"I'm not going anywhere with you Alex."

"At least you're calling me Alex again, come on move."

Alex withdrew his gun and aimed it at Fox.

"You won't shoot me Alex."

"De ja vu, I swear I once said that to you Fox."

"Yeah and I shot the mattress not you."

"But I'm not you Fox and that's the difference."

Alex aimed carefully, hell he'd been able to use a gun since he was a kid, he fired once and the bullet skimmed Fox's shoulder.

"You fuckin bastard Alex, shit you fucking shot me."

"It's a flesh wound Fox so just get over it."

With that Alex slapped the cuffs on him and pulled him to his feet.

"Time for a road trip Fox, hell I think you deserve a holiday don’t you?"

Fox was too tired to fight as Alex led him out of the apartment, he then turned and locked the door behind them.

"Can't I at least feed the fish or maybe even water the plants."

"The fish can take their chances, and when did you ever have plants Fox?"

"It was worth a try."

"Get in the car Fox and lie down."

"Great I get the back seat all to myself."

Alex leaned over and put a mask over his head, he then removed any weapons Fox was carrying.

"Don't want you shooting me while I'm driving do we."

"Come on Alex this isn’t fair, shit you can't expect me to stay like this."

"Just get used to it Fox and shut the fuck up."

"Poor Alex is feeling a bit grumpy."

"That's it I'm just going to ignore you now."

Alex got in to the driver’s seat and turned the stereo on, he then turned up the volume to drown out Fox.

"Where are we going, are we there yet?"

"Can't you just shut the fuck up, shit Fox I can still hear you over the stereo."

"Just remember this was your idea Alex."

"Yeah I must be mad."

"You do know it’s a federal offence to kidnap an F.B.I Agent."

"Yeah I 'm so scared Fox, hell maybe Skinner will come and save you, Fox the damsel in distress."

"Fuck you Alex I keep telling you nothing happened."

"Are you that naive Fox it's obvious that Skinner fancies you, and you go and jump in bed with the man?"

"Go to hell Alex."

"Been there done that, this is where it all ends."

Alex suddenly realized half an hour had passed in silence, maybe with any luck Fox was asleep.

Fox had started to panic and wondered just what Alex had meant by what he'd said, it all ends now, great was Alex planning on killing both of them. He tried to calm down as his brain worked overtime, he had to do something and get the hell out of this car.

"Can we stop Alex as I desperately need the toilet?"

Great Alex had thought Fox was asleep, he would need to find some secluded place to pull over.

"You will have to hold it until I find somewhere to stop."

"Just don't take forever Alex please."

"I'm doing the best I can."

"Ha yeah right Alex, you could have just left me at home."

"I have plans for you my Fox."

"I'm not yours anymore."

"That's what you say now, right I am stopping now so behave yourself Fox."

Alex opened the rear door and pulled Fox out, he then removed the mask from him.

"Go on then and hurry up.”

"What about the cuffs?"

"You're hands are cuffed at the front Fox, hell even you can manage that."

"Whatever."

Alex stood beside the car and just waited, Fox had walked a few yards away and emptied his bladder.

He watched as Fox Walked towards the car, fuck the man looked so sexy and gorgeous, he then bent to open the rear car door.

"Get in Fox and......."

That was all Alex managed to say as suddenly he felt a tight pressure on his throat, shit Fox was using the cuffs to strangle him. Fox pulled hard enough so Alex would pass out, he then removed his arms from his throat.

Once Alex was on the ground Fox searched his pockets, he needed the gun and car keys, shit the key for the cuffs would also be nice however he was getting desperate when he found nothing, fuck they had to be somewhere.

Fuck suddenly he felt a sudden pain between his legs, God it hurt as Alex kneed him in the groin then had him pinned down on the ground.

"Fuck you Mulder, try that again and I will fucking kill you."

"Do it then Alex as I'm sick of all this shit."

"Fuck you're hard work Fox, just get in the car now as we are miles from anywhere."  
Fox got reluctantly back in to the car and was not happy, this had gone on long enough and he still didn't know what Alex wanted.  
Alex looked at himself in the car mirror, he already had bruises forming from where Fox grabbed him.

"I'm sorry Alex I truly am."

"Just forget it I deserve everything I get."

"Please Alex just talk to me and tell me what you want?"

"There was only one thing I ever wanted Fox and that was you."

"Look what happens Alex, every time we get near each other someone gets hurt."

"But I hurt even when I'm not with you Fox, I can't live like this."

"I'm sorry Alex ............"

Alex turned the stereo as loud as it would go, he couldn't cope right now with rejection. 

  
Fox knew he had hurt Alex, but all he wanted to know was what Alex had planned. His life had been depressing however he was not ready to die yet, he needed to talk to Alex and make him see sense, only he couldn't at the moment as Alex would never hear him.

Alex drove for over an hour just lost in his own thoughts, shit he was a fuckin idiot to believe kidnaping Fox would make him love him, Alex slammed on the brakes and brought the car to a standstill. Fox cried out as he fell off the backseat, it was hard to do much with the cuffs on.

"Alex are you okay, please talk to me shit answer me Alex I need to know?"

"Just shut the fuck up Fox, ha you only care as you might be left out here cuffed and alone."

Alex dragged Fox back up on to the seat and removed the mask.

"Look see Fox I'm fine, life’s a fuckin bed of roses."

"Alex please just calm down and talk to me."

"What's the matter, is Foxy scared?"

Before Fox could even form a reply he saw Alex raise his fist, fuck had things between them got that bad. It was like watching everything in slow motion, Alex took his fist and punched it straight through the glass in the car window...

Blood was dripping all over Fox and the backseat of the car, some of the cuts looked pretty deep and would need stitches.

"Alex look at me, please let me check your hand."

"Ha a little too late Fox to start caring about me."

Alex pulled the keys from his pocket and removed the cuffs from Fox.

"Get out Fox."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Shit I'm letting you go Fox, walk a few miles over that hill and you will eventually come to a road."

"I told you that I'm staying Alex."

Alex pulled out his gun and pointed it at Fox.

"Just fuck off and go Mulder before I put a bullet in your head."

"You need stitches Alex please let me help."

"I will sort it."

Fox was left with no choice but to walk away, especially after Alex removed the safety catch. As soon as Fox was out of sight Alex dropped the gun on to the ground, using the weapon had made his hand bleed far more and he knew it was bad.

Alex sat on the ground leaning against the car as he was in great pain and light headed, he knew he could go no further in the condition he was in, soon it didn't matter anymore as he slumped forward in to darkness.

Fox had waited so long then he'd crept back to the car as he hadn't heard Alex drive off, when he saw the state Alex was in he was glad he had come back. It was hard but he managed to pull Alex in to the passenger seat, he then searched the glove box for a mobile phone or anything useful.

After emptying it he found a phone with no signal and a basic first aid kit.

"Fuck Alex you could have come prepared, please hold on as there's no way I plan on loosing you now."

Fox kissed the man on his cheek and realized how cold Alex was, he removed his own belt and fastened it tight around Alex’s arm to stem the blood flow.

Soon he was speeding off to find the nearest hospital, he would rely on is eidetic memory to find his way back to D.C. Alex was still unconscious when he pulled up outside the hospital, it had taken over two hours to get here and Alex was still white as a ghost. He knew he had no choice but to leave him and go find help otherwise it was plain and simple he would die, Fox realized that he loved Alex far too much to lose him now.

He managed to find a nurse with a trolley, they rushed outside and managed to get Alex on the stretcher then the nurse rushed to find a doctor, the man took one look at Alex and rushed him off in to the operating theatre. Fox was left to answer the nurse’s questions.

"Can you please tell me his name?"

"It's Alex Artzen."

"Can you please tell me how it happened?"

"He put his hand through the car window."

"Are you related to Mr. Artzen?"

"Alex has no living relatives, hell I guess that I'm all he has."

"Are you aware of any drugs Mr. Artzen may be using?"

"He has used ketamine in the past along with anti-depressants, however I have no idea if he's using anything at present."

"Thank you ever so much for your help, please wait here and I 'l be back shortly."

Fox was left alone in a small waiting room, he hated just waiting as it drove him mad, finally over four hours later the doctor reappeared with some news. The doctor walked towards him and shook his hand.

"Sorry Sir I never got your name."

"Special Agent Fox Mulder, everyone just calls me Mulder."

"So you're an F.B.I agent, was you on a case when this happened."

"No Alex is my ex-partner, he's going through a really bad time at the moment."

"Well he's very lucky to have you, he had lost a lot of blood and it was your quick thinking that saved him, the belt slowed down the blood flow considerably."

"How long will he have to stay here?"

"We will keep him for forty eight hours, he will find it very hard to use his hand for a while."

"Did he have many stitches?"

"He had about fifty so it will cause a lot of discomfort, are you aware the other arm is not real."

"Yeah he had it amputated some time ago in Russia."

"Shit I just realized, Alex will have no use of his hands at all."

"That is why we plan to keep him sedated for the first twenty four hours, we are unable to give him pain relief until we get the blood test results back. As soon as we know if he's on any medication we will get a drip in him."

"Thank you Doctor."

"You’re welcome, go home Agent Mulder I will call if there's any change."

Fox went home and fell in to a troubled sleep, he was exhausted after the many recent events that had gone on. He woke sometime later and stretched his stiff aching body, shit he could not believe he'd slept for the past sixteen hours.

Fox decided to go for a short run before a hot shower and coffee, it was nearly a full twenty four hours later when he returned to the hospital.

He was amazed when he entered the room and found Alex fast asleep, he had really believed that the man would have left by now.

Fox wondered where the hell they had gone so wrong, of course Alex had left him to go and save the world, shit he had pushed Alex away so many times because he had left him, truth be told he was scared to love him in case he left again.

Fox realized just how gorgeous this man was and how much he truly loved him, Alex could have died and it had taken this to make him realize what he was rejecting and throwing away.  
He was brought out of his daydreaming by a quiet voice.

"Why are you here Fox, hell I gave you the chance to just go?"

"You could have died out there all alone so I'm staying right here."

"What's it to you Fox if I live or die, it's not that long ago that you wanted me gone out of your life?"

"I was confused Alex, you walked out on everything as you had me but threw it all away."

"Fuck you Fox I had what, hell it was all just based on a lie anyway?"

"I admit that we both lied to get what we wanted, we had each other and it had felt so perfect."

"Whatever Fox, just go as I sure as hell don't need you now or your fuckin pity."

"I'm staying Alex, take a long hard look at yourself, how do you honestly think you'll cope when you leave here."

"I don't give a fuck how I cope."

Fox realized that Alex was becoming very agitated and stressed, he decided to pop out for a short while.

"I'm just popping out for a bit Alex, just rest as I won't be long."

"Don't bother coming back."

"Whatever Alex."

Fox decided to give Alex some time and space alone. However, he had no intention of going too far, he had a word with the Doctor about Alex's behaviour.

He learnt that the man was still on anti-depressants and suicidal, he knew it would be hard work as Alex was volatile at the best of times, a severely depressed Alex would be far harder work.  
He was too soon realize just how hard when he went back in to the room, Alex sat the on the floor sobbing.

"Jesus Alex you were going to just run away again?"

"Get the fuck out now, just get the fuck away from me Mulder."

"It's Mulder now is it, well you had better get used to me being here as I'm going nowhere."

"I hate you Mulder, I hate you so fuckin much."

"Have you finished yet Alex?"

"I won't finish Mulder until you fuck off."

"Jesus get over it Alex and start facing facts, you need help and I'm all you've got."

"Thanks a fuckin bunch Mulder for the reminder, great all I have in my sad fucked up pathetic life is you, hell I would rather be dead than suffer you Mulder."

"Why do this Alex, you know that you love me yet you keep pushing me away?"

"Yeah it hurts to be pushed away all the time Mulder, hell I should know better than anyone."

"You need help Alex, the Doctor has prescribed some stronger anti-depressants for you."

"Great more fucking pills for pathetic little me."

"Alex you just proved that you can’t even dress yourself."

"I have money Mulder and can hire someone to help me."

"You're a pain in the ass Alex at the best of times, who would put up with you other than me?"

"Fuck you Mulder."

"Anytime Alex."

"Go to hell Mulder, I wouldn’t touch you if you were the last man on earth."

"Yeah okay whatever as at the end of the day you have two choices Alex, you come with me or they will have you committed plain and simple."

Alex weighed up which would be easier, easier to get away from that is.

"Don't even think it Alex as I can feel your mind working overtime."

"You spooky fuck."

"I’ve been called worse, you think by staying with me you can leave whenever you want, well you won't be going anywhere until we sort things out."

"I can't wait Mulder."

Alex remained in total silence as Mulder helped him dress, it was hard having the man’s hands upon his body and him not holding or kissing him.

He realized that he would not be able to live like this and would have to leave as soon as Fox was distracted.  
Fox had gone to get the prescription then to collect Alex, he remained silent all the way to Fox's apartment and just kept his head down.

"Make yourself at home Alex and I will make the bed up for you."

"Great that's all I fuckin need."

"What's the matter now?"

"I really want to be reminded of the time we spent together, hell or worse still you and Skinner."

"Why don't we go to your place then Alex?"

"Like fuck am I showing you where I live."

"Then stop moaning and sleep in the bloody bed then."

"Do you know that I really hate you, no actually I despise you?"

"Whatever just get over it Alex and stop acting like a baby."

Alex walked in to the bedroom and slammed the door shut, Fox had decided to give him some space as Alex was harder than any x file he'd had.

After a few hours Alex had still not left the bedroom and all was quiet so he decided to check on him, Alex was on the bed with his back towards the door and Fox knew he had to wake him come what may.

"Alex come on sleepy head you need your meds."

"Go away Mulder."

"Alex please you need them."

"I'm not depressed so fuck off."

"Fine Alex but you still need a shower and some food."

Alex hated being this close to Fox and it was tearing him apart, he felt so alone and could not hold back the tears any longer and realized what a baby he was.

"Fine I'll go for a shower if you go away and leave me alone."

"I can help you as you can't do it on your own."

"Fuck off Fox."

Alex got up and shoved past Fox, he then barged in to the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him. Great now the man wanted to give him a shower and he could not handle that, even though he cock leapt at the idea of having Fox touch him and that's why he couldn't undress in front of him.

He would have a good long shower alone, at least that way he got to avoid Fox for a while longer, first he would just use the toilet and undress. What a fuckin joke that was just like his life really, his hand was totally useless and he couldn't even unfasten his own pants, he'd had enough and wanted the humiliation to just end once and for all.

Fox had gone in the kitchen to make some food and as it was late he would keep it light, he was putting the soup in to two bowls when he first heard the noise, there was a loud scream and that was closely followed by something smashing so he rushed to the bathroom.

Upon reaching the door he found it to be locked, he wasted no time and aimed at the lock then kicked the door open.  
He was just in time as he found Alex sat on the floor, the man just sat there sobbing as he held the broken glass over his wrist.

In a split second Fox moved towards Alex and grabbed his injured hand and squeezed it, Alex could no longer stand the pain in his hand and dropped the glass, Fox hugged him as Alex repeated the same words over and over again.

"My pants, my pants."

Fox looked down and realized Alex had wet himself, which was when it hit him just what the problem was.

"Only you Alex could do something like this, hell you can't manage to undo your pants yet you manage to grab the glass."

Soon he realized that Alex was fast asleep in his arms.

"God I love you Alex but I really need to get changed."

Fox lay Alex slowly down on the floor, he managed to get his pants off and wash Alex without him even waking, and he then put some boxers on the exhausted man.

"Come on Alex you will be far better off in bed."

Once he had Alex in bed he lay beside his warm body, before Fox even knew it he was fast asleep with Alex in his arms.

Sometime later Alex woke to hear Fox's light breathing and he felt the arms that held him, suddenly he was back in time.

Alex panicked, he was Fox's prisoner left on a bed naked, he had suffered from amnesia and it had turned in to a dream, however Alex felt that this time something was wrong, he heard Fox stir and could not help but ask.

"Who are you?"

"It's me Fox the man who loves you so much Alex."

With that Alex flew out of the bed away from Fox, it was tearing him apart as he had to accept they were never to be lovers again.

"Please Fox I will beg if that's what it will take, I can't deal with this so please just let me go."

"I'll tell you what Alex give me just twenty four hours, if you take all your meds and can manage the basics I will let you go."

"You mean it?"

"Yes if it's what you really want, I wanted you as a partner and lover Alex not a prisoner."

"I can't do it Fox, You push me away and when I try to end it you want me back, I am not some fucked up case for you to work on or to pity."

"Fine so be it Alex, do as I say and we can go our separate ways."

Fox managed to get him to eat and take all the pills, he had told him they were all painkillers and not that two were anti-depressants, very strong ones at that. He then let Alex go to bed alone, once he was sure Alex was fast asleep he called Scully.

Once Scully arrived he explained the situation, he wanted her to watch him but let him leave if she was left with no choice, and he needed just a couple of hours as he had things to do.

Fox had decided that he wasn’t prepared to give up on him just yet.  
Fox arrived at F.B.I headquarters and went straight to see Skinner, the man felt guilty for what he'd done to Alex so Fox knew he would help, over an hour later he was on his way back home with all the stuff he would need.

Scully had managed to catch up on some very overdue paperwork, she informed him that Alex woke and used the toilet before returning back to bed.

Fox went to check on him and found Alex sound asleep, he had expected it as the Doctor had warned him the pills would make him sleep. It broke his heart as Alex looked so angelic whilst sleeping and still so gorgeous despite the loss of his arm.

He had always thought that Alex had strength to cope with the loss and maybe he would learn to cope again, shit all this thinking was giving Fox a headache.

Once they had been enemies and he never wanted it that way again, he had always fancied Alex even when they hated each other.

Alex woke during the night in the bed alone, however it never took much to locate Fox as he was in his usual place on the couch fast asleep, Alex grabbed a glass of water and soon returned to bed as he felt drained.

However sleep was not going to claim him for some time, he lay there thinking how he'd coped with the black oil also losing his arm oh and let’s not forget the silo, yet he could not cope with Fox Mulder.

He had fallen for the man that first day in the bull pen and had felt so nervous, and say no more about the day beside the swimming pool, that red speedo left very little if anything to the imagination.

Yet Fox was here claiming he wanted him and he was going to throw it all away, deep down he believed that Fox had never really wanted him anyway, he also believed that it was just pity the other man felt as after all he was a one armed fuckin cripple.

He lay there and finally cried himself to sleep that was after he vowed to himself that he would be leaving in the morning regardless of everything.

Fox woke early and sorted out Alex's clean clothes, once they were all done he went to hang them in the bedroom.

"I’ve got your clean clothes Alex just in case you plan to leave today."

"Yeah I have decided it would be for the best, I'm sorry Fox but I just need some space alone."

"Just promise me you will keep taking your meds and look after yourself Alex, please that's all I ask of you."

"Fine I promise proving you do me a favour in return."

"I would do anything for you Alex, I will also drive you if you want as you can't drive while on medication."

"It's okay Fox, it's called public transport."

"Fine what favour do you want then Alex in return?"

"I want you to go out for an hour or so, I don't want you to be here Fox when I leave if that's okay."

"Is that what you really want?"

"I can't do it with you here Fox, please go and then when you return just move on, just try and pretend that I never existed."

"That will never happen I am prepared to go out while you leave here, however I will never forget you or ever stop loving you."

"Please Fox don't go there as I can't handle it."

"I'm sorry Alex, I need some air so I am leaving now for a few hours."

"I'm sorry too Fox please look after yourself."

Before Alex had chance to say anything else Fox was gone, he then heard the apartment door slam shut and he was alone.

He already felt the loss of what he'd had, he soon got dressed and gathered his few possessions together along with a few extra things, he managed to take a photo along with one of Fox's tee shirts.

He took one last look at the place and thought once more about what he'd lost, the pain was unbearable as he walked out of the door, he had become so pathetic over time no wonder Fox never really wanted him.

Fox sat in a small cafe lost in his own thoughts, he knew that he had to go ahead with his plans to make sure Alex was safe. He opened the small case he carried and removed a small screen, he then turned the power on and watched the red flashing light that was moving on the map.

He knew that Alex would be pissed big-time if he knew, Fox was hoping that he would never find out about it.

The tracking device was state of the art and could track a person anywhere, all Fox had to do was hope Alex kept his jacket with him, there was very little chance that Alex would find the device hidden in his collar.

God it was going to be a long job as Alex kept stopping every so often which puzzled him, shit Alex was far too ill to be walking.  
Soon the device started moving faster and he realized Alex must now be on transport, he guessed by the speed and roads it took it must be a taxi.

He was to end up sitting there for over five hours before the light stopped, he realized that Alex must be at his destination and also that it was the middle of nowhere, which thinking about it was so typical of Alex.

Fox decided to go and grab some sleep as the device would beep if Alex moved, and he wanted to be refreshed before he set off.

Within a couple of hours Fox was wide awake and went for a shower, he then dressed and grabbed his car keys picklock and wallet, he then grabbed the tracking device and was ready to see what Alex was up to.

  
The roads were pretty quiet at this time of evening, he could afford to drive fast and would flash his badge if need be. However his journey was very uneventful and he hadn’t even needed gas, he neared his destination and realized it was literally deserted, he had last past civilization over an hour back and no cars for ages.

Fox saw a road to his right and turned down the bumpy track, it was over a mile before he noticed the faint light and decided to go on foot, as he had no plans to startle Alex or get shot by the man.

After walking a bit he saw the small cottage surrounded by giant conifer trees, it looked so peaceful and so well hidden from the road no one would even notice it. He decided to go back to the car and wait for daylight, he would then hide his car and go back on foot.

He hated just watching and waiting, he had remembered the time he had spent just watching Alex so long ago, and waiting for him to realize who he was. He had to face the fact that it was a long time ago and things had changed.

Fox realized he must have fallen asleep as it was now broad daylight outside, he looked at his watch to see it was now nine in the morning.

 He hid the car and made his way towards the cottage only to see Alex leaving, he had no intention of following him as he still had the tracking device as Alex had his jacket on, now would be a good idea to go check things out without Alex there.

Fox walked around to the rear door and withdrew his picklock, just one quick look and he would leave.

Once inside he realized it was a large well equipped kitchen, it suddenly hit him that he had no idea if Alex could even cook. He moved on to the next room which was a small furnished living room, it held no personal objects at all no photos nothing.

After the small bathroom he opened the door to the next room which was a study, he could not resist a closer look at all the files upon the desk, Alex had files on himself along with Skinner and Spender, It was marked deceased on Spenders in Alex’s neat handwriting, everything on his file appeared to be in some sort of code.

He had decided to get moving before Alex came home, the last doors led to a huge bedroom, it looked like two rooms had been made in to one with a massive four poster bed in the middle.

He ran his hands along the sheets that were black and pure silk, it was then that Fox looked up. The ceiling was made of mirrors, he suddenly felt really sad and depressed as he realized it wasn’t really a room for a single man, he had to wonder if Alex brought men here for sex.

Fox decided to get a quick look in the closets before he left, the first was full of black jeans and silk shirts he knew they were all Alex’s. He was more taken back when he opened the second closet, there in front of him was a row of Armani suits in various colours and everyone was in his own size.

That was when Fox realized that Alex planned to bring him here when he kidnapped him, he wondered if Alex would have forced him to stay.

He decided he would have to face Alex and talk to him, however he decided to check for weapons first. He found one gun under the pillow alongside a tee shirt that was his, also there was another in the bedside cabinet.

 He had been so distracted by his surroundings and was taken by surprise when he heard the car on the drive. Fuck he suddenly realized that he was trapped and could not leave, the only place he could think to hide was under the huge four poster bed. Fox felt a deep ache in his chest as he heard Alex speak.

"Honey I'm home have you missed me."

So Alex did have another lover and didn't need him anyway, he couldn't take anymore and just wanted to leave until he heard Alex's next words, the pain in his heart was unbearable.

"I've got food Fox, I even managed to pick us up a better car."  
Fox had wanted to cry, shit what had happened to the man he'd fell in love with whom he realized was more alone than he'd thought.

He listened to Alex spend most of the day talking to himself, he was desperate for a piss and would need the toilet soon, at least the bedroom had an en suite bathroom.

Fox waited until he heard Alex turn on the television and then crept towards the bathroom, he managed to take a piss without flushing the toilet, and he then resumed his position back under the bed to wait yet again.

Alex moved around doing a few things for a while as Fox remained trapped, he then decided it was late and time that he went to bed. Fox heard him opening the pill bottles as he took his meds then the toilet flush, he was pleased that Alex was still taking the pills.

Soon Alex was in bed and that was left to do was wait, he could hear him tossing and turning in his sleep, he could also hear Alex muttering to himself.

After sometime he finally heard Alex snoring very quietly, he knew the time had come to leave and crept from under the bed, however that was when Alex started shouting and screaming.

"Get the fuck away from me Skinner, just fuck off it's my arm............ God please don't cut it off."

Fox realized that the man was having a really bad nightmare, he had suffered so much in life so how the fuck could he just walk out and leave him. He did the only thing he could under the circumstances, he climbed in to the bed and held Alex tight in his arms.

"Sssh Alex I'm here for you now babe and I love you so much, come on just sleep as I swear I won't leave you."

Fox kissed him on the head and held him so close, soon the man he held was fast asleep and Fox joined him not long after.

Alex opened his eyes and knew something was different, he could feel and smell Fox in his bed, fuck his imagination must have finally got the better of him and he'd lost it.

Alex tried to move but was unsuccessful, Fox held on to him tight knowing things could go either way depending on Alex.

"Please Alex stay with me."

"Fox you can't be here, there's no way you could find me."

"I am real babe, I'm so sorry but I had to follow you and make sure you were safe."  
"I'm fine Fox so you can leave now."

Within a split second Fox had him on his back and sat over him, he was really glad that he had decided to keep his clothes on.

"You will lay there and just fucking listen for once, you really need help after what you've been though as it has affected you far more than you let on."

Fox saw the flash of pain on Alex's face, he knew what he'd said was the truth.

"Did you ever have anyone in your life Alex, shit who did you have to comfort you after your arm or the silo as I often wondered."

"I had no one and I don't need anyone then or now, I’ve managed all my fucking life alone."

Fox noticed the tears as Alex struggled to keep his emotions in check, however he wanted him to let go and let it all out.

"You have me now Alex and I'm here for you babe."

"How can you love me Fox, hell I fuckin raped you twice."

"Because I know it wasn’t the true you Alex, you were physically and mentally abused and it affected your thinking."

"I don't know if I can be who you want me to be Fox, hell so much has happened now between us."

"Alex just listen to me for once please, when I held you prisoner we hated each other yet we fell in love. Anything’s possible but we might have to work harder."

"How can we be together when I live here and you work with Skinner, this is my home Fox and it's killing me to keep moving around?"

"Yeah it would be hard at first babe, I could stay here at weekends and phone you during the week."

"I suppose it could work and be okay."

"If you love me as much as I love you we need to give it a go."

"I love you more than anything Fox, God that's why it hurt so much when you never wanted me."

"I have always wanted you Alex, just sometimes it's hard and you’re always jumping to conclusions."

"I know and I'm truly sorry for what I've done to you Fox."

"It will be a fresh start Alex with no more lies between us, if anything is bothering you we will discuss it together, all I ask is that you don't bottle it up."

  
"Okay Fox I love you so much and I'm willing to try my best.”

"We will make it work between us Alex."

"Can I just ask you one question Fox?"

"Anything babe."

"Any chance you can get of me now Fox and just hold me."

"No problem babe."

  
"Fox lay beside his lover and held him close, fuck he was so turned on by his lovers naked body in his arms. He ran his hands down his body and squeezed Alex's perfect ass inserting his finger inside the hidden tight warm hole, God he wanted Alex so much yet he pulled his hands away and just lay there.

"You don't really want me do you Fox?"

"Is that what you really think Alex, shit we just had a conversation about jumping to conclusions."

"You were quick to move your hand away."

"Shit Alex I want you so bad it hurts, I just thought that it might be far too soon for you that’s all."

"I need you inside me Fox, please just make me yours so I can forget everything else."

Fox knew what he meant, he wanted to forget about Skinner and what he'd done to him.

"It would be my pleasure Alex if you’re really sure?"

"I am more sure of that than anything else, please Fox for me."

Fox never spoke as he went back to that small tight hole, he wet his finger and slowly inserted it in to the man's perfect ass as Alex moaned loudly, it was not long before he had the man withering about and begging.

"Please Fox just fuck me hard, I need you deep inside me now....."

"Lay on your back Alex and let me look at you while I make love to you."

Fox undressed faster than he ever had before and grabbed the lube.

"How did you know that was there Fox, forget I asked and just hurry up over here."

"God you're so fucking sexy Alex when you’re desperate."

"Yeah extremely desperate so move that sexy ass over here."

Fox climbed on to the bed, he then applied plenty of the lube to himself alongside his lover, Fox then pressed is cock head against the small opening forcing the small hole to expand.

What a turn on Alex was as he lay there so gorgeous and sexy, he knew he wouldn’t last long after wanting Alex so much and having to wait.

"Come on Fox just do it and make me feel it."

"I don't want to hurt you babe."

"Fuck it Fox, the point is that I want it to hurt so I feel you."

As Fox went to push forward Alex pushed up at the same time, the man forced Fox's cock deep inside himself as Fox thrust harder and faster each time, soon he had Alex screaming out and wanting to come.

"God Fox oh yeah come on fuck me hard babe, shit I'm going to come Fox."

"You're my wanton little slut Alex."

"Ha I love you too Fox but for fucks sake don't stop now."

Alex screamed as he came and was followed a few seconds later by his lover.

"God I love you so much Alex."

"Me too babe, please Fox promise you won't ever leave me."

"I promise that apart from work days I’ll be here, hell you try keeping me away."  
"So I will only see you on weekends then?"

"For now Alex, shit it's the best I can do as you don't live that close to me."

Fox could feel Alex becoming distant and moody.

"Please Alex don't do this now, I love you so much and everything was going so well."

"I'm so sorry Fox, God I have you here and I'm still acting like a selfish bastard."

"It's only natural Alex to be afraid that I might leave you.”

"I've spent so long alone and I don't................"

Fox held him close and hugged him as Alex started sobbing, he realized this was going to be a rough ride as Alex was more insecure than he thought, however the love he felt for the man in his arms made it worth it.

"I'll tell you what babe, I will go back to work and book some time off so we can be together and sort this out."

"You mean it Fox."

"Hell yeah of course babe, however I might have to give a couple of weeks’ notice though."

"That's okay at least it will give me something to look forward to."

"That's settled then, so just for tonight let’s forget about that and think about now."

Soon both men were fast asleep holding on to each other, even subconsciously neither man wanted to let go. However morning soon came around and it was time for Fox to say goodbye to his lover.

"Alex come on wake up babe, there's no way I'm leaving here while you’re asleep."

"Why are you going Fox, please don't leave me alone again."

"Alex its five am, hell it's going to take me at least four hours to get back to D.C."

"I just thought you might have decided to stay that's all."

"I promise that I will return on Friday after work, please Alex it's only two days away."

"Sorry Fox, God I just thought you would leave here and not want to come back."

"I love you Alex so please don't worry, come Friday nothing will keep me away from you."

After Fox had dressed they said their goodbyes and he was off on his way to work. He had wanted to stay more than anything however work called and he had little choice in the matter.

The first few weeks went okay, he worked all week and then spent the weekend with his lover. It was the fourth weekend that everything went wrong, Fox had been sent away on an assignment with Scully and were still on the case come Friday evening.

He was pissed off as on top of everything else his mobile had no signal, he also knew Alex would be panicking by now.  
It was to be Sunday afternoon before they managed to close the case, Fox realized it would be at least ten tonight before he reached Alex.  
When Fox arrived at the cottage it was in total darkness and the door was unlocked, he pulled out his gun as a precaution as Alex was fussy and the door was normally locked. He entered the kitchen to find mugs and plates smashed up all over the floor, he then also found the living room in the same sorry state with many things smashed in to pieces.

His heart was beating fast as he went upstairs as quietly as possible, he was so worried that Alex might be hurt or not even here. Once he opened the bedroom door and found the man he loved so much, Alex lay there in the black silk sheets fast asleep.

Fox realized that there had been no burglar of consortium employee here, the mess was the work of one man alone. He undressed and slid under the sheet and held his sleeping lover in his arms, however sleep never came as he lay there with his mind working overtime.

Shit Fox knew that the situation required serious action before Alex ended up in a mental hospital, or worse still he might end up killing himself, he knew that he would need to talk to him as soon as he woke up.

Fox must have finally fallen asleep, however he had awoke due to the pressure on his bladder and needed the toilet, as he re-entered the bedroom Alex was under the sheet and he could hear him sobbing, it tore him apart to hear the crying and the deep sobs coming from his lover.

"Alex come on babe talk to me, please Alex I'm here for you and want to help."

"Why Fox you never came Friday like you promised, so why now as obviously you don't want to be here."

"Alex believe me that if I didn't want to be here I wouldn’t, I'm an F.B.I agent and had to go on a case out of town, just to top it off I had no signal on my phone."

"So when did you get back home then."

"Alex I came straight here to be with you, God you have to understand just how much I love you."

"Prove it to me then Fox, if you truly love me stay here for a while."

"Fine Alex I will stay here for a while however it will be on my terms."

"I knew there would be a catch."

"Alex they are all things that you're capable of so don't worry, so at the end of the day it's up to you."

"Fine so what the conditions?"

"One that you will seek professional help then secondly help me clean this place up, and then thirdly I want you to let me inside that pretty head of yours."

"If I agree to it how long will you stay Fox, shit I bet it will be just a couple of days again."

"Alex promise me that you will do the things I ask, if you do I will spend a whole month here with you."

"Really just me and you for a whole month."

"Yes Alex just us, no work or anything else I promise, Alex you're more important to me than anything else."

"Except your job."

"Please Alex can we just take one thing at a time as I ‘m doing my best."

Fox kept his promise and took a whole month off work, during that time they managed to sort the house out and Alex even got help. His only concern was just how fast the month was going, the smile on Alex's face was such a gorgeous sight and one he never wanted to disappear.

He knew it was going to break his lover’s heart when he returned to work, however that day was coming fast.  
They had made love nearly every day with the odd exception, on the other days it had been rough or kinky sex which had suited them both.

They had also made love in nearly every room in the house, shit Fox had realized that it was also going to destroy him to return to work too.

It had been agreed that Fox would leave on the Sunday evening, he was to go home and return to work on Monday morning and just return to Alex on weekends. However once Sunday came he kept stalling as the look on Alex's face was breaking his heart.

"Fine Alex I will stay tonight but I will be gone when you wake up as it will be easier that way."

"I thought you was back at work Fox."

"Yeah I will leave at four am and use a suit you have here."

"Help yourself Fox as they all belong to you, God I love you so much it hurts."

"As long as you accept that I’ll be gone and don't do anything stupid, we can still talk every night via the internet so be good Alex."

"Yeah okay Fox, I just want to spend the whole night making love to you."

"That makes two of us then babe."

Come night time they made love twice and were soon both fast asleep, Fox had set his alarm for three in the morning and knew it would be a long day. After a shower and strong coffee he knew it was time to leave, he went to the bedroom and took one last look at his lover.

"God Alex I love you so much babe, please look after yourself and be safe and don't get depressed."

He then bent down and kissed the man on his forehead.

"I will always come back to you Alex."

Fox set off for his long drive to work, deep down he knew that he couldn’t keep this up every week as the distance was just too far, the big question would be if he could talk Alex in to moving closer to D.C.

He had only just managed to get through the day as everything just dragged on all day, he was glad to finally be on his way home.

Fox got in and had a quick shower and changed in to his jog bottoms, once he was sorted he grabbed a beer and a sandwich then went straight to his p.c. As soon as he logged on Alex popped up as online.

Fox "How's your day been lover."

Alex "Okay but I miss you already."

Fox "Yeah same here, well it will soon be Friday again."

Alex "Not soon enough."

Fox "I think I will have to bring my cuffs at the weekend."

Alex "You felling kinky then Fox."

Fox "Ha you're the one who bought a four poster bed."

Alex "I happen to like that bed."

Fox "Oh and let's not forget all the mirrors on the ceiling and then there's the silk sheets."

Alex "Fine I get the point Fox and admit that I'm kinky."

Fox "I want you as my prisoner all weekend, laid out naked and cuffed to the bed posts."

Alex. “God I can't wait Fox, carry on like that and I will need to come right now."

Fox "You won't be coming until I say so Alex, sorry did I forget to mention the cock ring babe."

Alex "You're a cruel man Fox."

Fox "Admit it babe you love me and all that I do to you."

Alex "Everything lover so don't you ever forget it."

Fox "It works two ways babe, I can't imagine my life without you now."

Alex "You might change your mind after a few days apart."

Fox "Alex it's killing me now not been there with you and thinking about what I could be doing to you."

Alex "Oh yeah like what."

Fox "I want to hold you Alex and take you, hell I want to shove my tongue so far up your ass you come screaming."

Alex "Shit I really need to jerk of now Fox thinking of you doing that to me."

Fox "Yeah me too babe, I think it's time we called it a night as I had an early start today."

Alex "Yeah thanks for staying over with me Fox, well me and my hand have some unfinished business."

Fox "You're not on your own babe, just keep smiling as that's one day down and only four to go."

Alex "I will do, I love you so much Fox and miss you."

Fox "I love you too babe, goodnight Alex xx”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alex "Yeah night Foxy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx."

Fox "xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"

Alex "xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"

Fox "Go."

Alex "You first."

Fox "Okay Alex love you xxxxxxxxxx."

Alex “Goodnight my sweet Fox I would be nothing now without you."

Fox signed off and suddenly felt so alone, it felt so bad that his chest hurt and he felt physically sick. He tried to get some sleep and must have drifted off eventually, great when he woke he realized it was only Tuesday.

Fox had never realized just how fucked up his life had been, he had to wonder what he really had or where his life was going. He knew that deep down he only had one thing that was worth having and that was Alex, he had a crap apartment with hardly any real friends or family. As for work there was nothing that he couldn’t check out on his own, hell half of what he did wasn’t by the book anyway.

  
He sat in front of his pc and started to write the letter for Skinner, as soon as it was done he took it to the A.D personally. Of course Skinner had tried to talk him out of leaving, however deep down Fox knew his heart was no longer in his job.

Fox spent the rest of the day packing his things up, he knew it was going to be strange at first yet he also knew he would cope, he had Alex and that was all that mattered.

Fox looked up at the poster on the wall, I want to believe, and yeah he truly wanted to believe that this time around he and Alex would make it. Finally he grabbed his stuff and closed the door for the last time, he then went and handed in his gun and badge along with a small note.

Fox spent the rest of the week dealing with things at home, on Friday he finally arrived at the cottage early evening. He found Alex in the kitchen washing up and listening to music, yet once he saw Fox he threw his arms around him and hugged him.

"Welcome home lover, God I thought Friday would never arrive."

"Yeah I know Alex but I'm here now."

"Yeah it's a shame it's only for a couple of days."

Fox reached in to his pocket and handed Alex a piece of paper, Alex looked at it wondering why Fox had given him it.

"Yeah it says Mr. F Mulder, I think I know who you are babe."

"Do you really Alex, look at it again and see what’s missing in the tittle."

"It says Mr. and not Agent Mulder."

"Clever boy Alex."

"Okay and your point is?"

"I retired today Alex, I'm no longer an F.B.I agent."

"Shit your job was your life what the hell will you do now, have you really thought about this Fox."

"I have thought about little else, however you are my life Alex and not my job."

"So does that mean you'll be spending a bit more time with me now?"

"I was rather hoping you would have me permanently, it's just all my stuffs in the car oh and I no longer have an apartment."

"Guess you were sure of my answer then, I would love nothing more than having you here permanently but.............."

Fox cut his lover off with a kiss before he could answer.

"Great I knew there would be a but, come on then out with it lover."

"Please tell me when you quit that you kept your cuffs?"

Fox pulled out his F.B.I issue handcuffs and held them up.

"Let's just say that when I handed my stuff in I left a note for Skinner, I told him that I'd lost them on my last out of town case."

"Smart thinking, now are we just standing here or are we going to use them."

"In the bedroom now babe as you will be my prisoner once more, and this time I have no plans of letting you go ever again."

  
The Point of No Return  
By Carol Ward   
17/ 07/2013


End file.
